Ted Cruz implied Jason Bourne is real – these takedowns will be the Cruz legacy
The Central Intelligence Agency – CIA – has launched a diversity drive, which saw the release of a recruitment video, in which a woman of colour talks about her background and belonging to the agency.
"I am unapologetically me. I want you to be unapologetically you, whoever you are. Whether you work at #CIA, or anywhere else in the world.
Command your space. Mija, you are worth it."
— CIA (@CIA) April 28, 2021
Her words caused a storm of mockery, from the left and the right.
China and Russia love this. https://t.co/YGI5AEsO3w
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) May 3, 2021
If they're going to start doing satire I'll start organising coups https://t.co/S8878mho2R
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) May 3, 2021
The flood of condemnation included this collection of quotes, posted by Aisha Ahmad.
Actual quotes from this new CIA recruitment ad:
"I am a woman of color"
"I am a cisgender millennial"
"I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder"
"I am intersectional"
I think it's safe to say the contemporary American left has failed.pic.twitter.com/ruUzWSeIur
— Aisha Ahmad (@aishaismad) May 2, 2021
The Republican Senator for Texas, Ted Cruz, spotted the tweet and weighed in with this peak-Ted-Cruz take.
Whatever his intended point, it certainly seemed as though he’d missed the memo about Jason Bourne being fictional, and the takedowns rolled in.
1.
Ted Cruz probably saw a Jason Bourne movie on his way to Cancun. https://t.co/BaCFLv979L
— Wajahat "Fasting" Ali (@WajahatAli) May 4, 2021
2.
Hey, moron: “Jason Bourne” is imaginary – like your conscience https://t.co/lAfPbP7RAl
— Keith Olbermann (@KeithOlbermann) May 4, 2021
3.
You literally fled the country because your house was chilly.
Have a seat, Rambo.
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) May 4, 2021
4.
1) Jason Bourne is a fictional character
2) The president you shilled for is Kim Jong Un’s best buddy and said they ‘fell in love’ https://t.co/0iRzm57Hqf— Mehdi Hasan (@mehdirhasan) May 4, 2021
5.
It's not just that Jason Bourne is a fictional character.
It's that the entire point of the Bourne movies is that Bourne is the product of a secret, off-the-books, unaccountable black ops organization, and that this is bad. https://t.co/S8SvryCunU
— Hans Noel (@ProfHansNoel) May 4, 2021
6.
Jason Bourne is a fictional character who illegally assassinated people after being programmed to do so through torture. Also, guys who flee their state to go to Mexico during an ice storm because it’s mildly inconvenient should just take a seat on “toughness” #FatWolverine
— Fred Wellman (@FPWellman) May 4, 2021
7.
Jason Bourne is fictional: like election fraud.
— John Pavlovitz (@johnpavlovitz) May 4, 2021
8.
Ted thinks the Jason Bourne movies were documentaries… yikes
— Dad Jokes Panda (@TrashPandaFTW) May 4, 2021
9.
Good point about how we've come a long way from movies.
— Cody Johnston (@drmistercody) May 4, 2021
10.
Jason Bourne – a man with a legendary selective memory who spends all his time sneaking around the globe so he'll never have to do his job again. pic.twitter.com/kCW1bpGuwB
— Zd (@Zeddary) May 4, 2021
11.
Ted Cruz finding out Jason Bourne is a fictional character pic.twitter.com/IcEWeVM2uC
— Washington Post TikTok Guy 🕺🏼 (@davejorgenson) May 4, 2021
For the avoidance of doubt, KathleenFrances had this message for Senator Cruz.
Ted, Matt Damon is not really in the CIA, he did not really buy a zoo, fight in WWII, and has never been to Mars. https://t.co/lNMqOC8twn
— KathleenFrances 🍀🇮🇪🇺🇸 (@Kathlee71013772) May 4, 2021
from Matt Damon GIFs via Gfycat
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