The 25 funniest tweets of the week
Every week, we scour Twitter for the funniest tweets we can find and narrow them down to 25 of the very best. Check them out and maybe give some of the people who wrote them a follow.
Here they are, the best tweets we’ve seen this week…
1.
my days in lockdown are divided as follows
laptop: work screen
phone: distraction screen
TV: reward screen
— tina (@tinerthewiener) December 7, 2020
2.
Every man on the Boden website is your boyfriend, trapped in a Boxing Day conversation with your relatives, trying to figure out an exit strategy pic.twitter.com/wXjzp2PsYf
— Robyn Wilder! (@orbyn) December 8, 2020
3.
The existence of Liverpool implies the existence of Laugherpool & Loverpool
— Michael. (@cumkinggg) December 6, 2020
4.
my mum discovered a spreadsheet my dad made to plan his week off work in 2000 pic.twitter.com/yveAjvRKUK
— martha (@marthalobrien) December 8, 2020
5.
[phone rings at any time of day]
me: what maniac would call me right now
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) December 10, 2020
6.
https://twitter.com/reservoird0gs/status/1334582348881399808
7.
me at 19: maybe I should be a writer
me at 36: maybe I should never leave this bathtub and become a broth
— Patrick Nathan (@patricknathan) December 6, 2020
8.
technology is unbelievable pic.twitter.com/mYxPEdsXog
— search brayden bauer on spotify (@Keefler_Elf) December 6, 2020
9.
Disgusting footage of Bill Gates live tracking Margaret, 97 doing her weekly shop in Aldi. Stay safe people pic.twitter.com/5KZtBd8SZX
— Billie (@Billie_T) December 8, 2020
10.
Same pic.twitter.com/5hCBwX5GEM
— Andy-Oh?! (@GoGoAndyRobo) December 6, 2020
11.
I miss lying to closest friends about where i am on my transit journey
— Chris Murphy (@christress) December 9, 2020
12.
https://twitter.com/skadumi28/status/1336549123340836864
13.
the word “bed” is shaped like a tiny bed
— danny elhaj (@comedyrainman) December 9, 2020
14.
yesterday my partner told me that when he's mad at me he gives me 'the bad fork' to eat dinner with, then proceeded to explain to my flatmate & i his personal taxonomy of our flat's seven forks
— A K BLAKEMORE (@akblakemore) December 8, 2020
15.
https://t.co/NZ7iJnSKYZ pic.twitter.com/h13t4isytx
— James (@jame_s94) December 9, 2020
16.
There should be an option that’s more than sleeping but not as much as being dead
— pat regan (@poregan) December 10, 2020
17.
Me: Why did my alarm not go off?
My alarm: pic.twitter.com/wGKB33ViMw
— Vega (@jvega3_) December 8, 2020
18.
19.
We're excited to announce that Doncaster has been chosen as the location for a British remake of Friends. pic.twitter.com/SMXSAIpnqZ
— Doncaster Council (@MyDoncaster) December 4, 2020
20.
Time to change out of my day pajamas into my night pajamas.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 5, 2020
21.
cashier: “your receipt is in the bag”
me: “you too” pic.twitter.com/qJm5mxXaG7
— Claudius (@xclaudius) December 8, 2020
22.
Do I have to have watch Spiderman 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 1, and 2 to understand what's going on in Spiderman 3?
— Ebert (@horsedivorce) December 9, 2020
23.
HOT Mesopotamian women in YOUR AREA!!! pic.twitter.com/hv45hANzqa
— jeannetmodi (@jeannetmodi) December 9, 2020
24.
People need to understand that "Baby, It's Cold Outside" was written in a different time even if the idea of being at someone else's house is shocking to us today.
— Zack the Halls With Budryks of Holly (@BudrykZack) December 7, 2020
25.
Standing ovation for the shopkeepers of March, Cambridgeshire. pic.twitter.com/mkHcCMVqQ1
— Daniel Benneworth-Gray (@gray) December 6, 2020
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