Chips, tests and vaccines – our 11 favourite new lockdown laughs

England is almost halfway through its four-week lockdown and Scotland is about to ramp up its measures to Tier 4, but tweeters are still banging out some very funny takes on the pandemic.

We’ve collected a few of them for your enjoyment.

1.

Interestingly, the word ‘vaccine’ comes from the Latin ‘vacca’ meaning ‘cow’, because since the late 18th Century vaccines have been used to cow the populace into submission with microchips.

— David QC (@DavidMuttering) November 16, 2020

2.

2020:
Jan- Fuck
Feb- Fuck's this?
Mar: Oh fuck
Apr: Fuuuuuuccckkkk!
May: Fuck fuck fuck
Jun: Jesus suffering fuck
Jul: Fuck it
Aug: Fuck sake
Sep: Fucking hell
Oct: Fuck a duck
Nov: FUCKIN' YES!!

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) November 14, 2020

3.

To be honest, I'm now delighted we're on lockdown again because if I had to go out with this self-haircut the local children would be terrified.

— I Am Incorrigible FCA (@ImIncorrigible) November 16, 2020

4.

Boris Johnson told to self-isolate, after Test and Trace app alerts him to having coronavirus seven months ago.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) November 16, 2020

5.

Dining out in 2021.
“… and would Sir like to see the vaccine list?”

— Mike Keenan (@mikekeenan) November 16, 2020

6.

Imagine if covid happened in 2001 when all we had was snake on the nokia 3310

— Rachael (@RachaelvsWorld) November 16, 2020

7.

As Moderna announce successful trials of a Coronavirus vaccine, conspiracy theorists announce they're trialling a new and stupider theory

— Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) November 16, 2020

8.

do you put the milk in your tea first or the covid pic.twitter.com/CAjollg1r7

— Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin) November 16, 2020

9.

If we're gonna have chips injected into our veins can I vote for McDonald's

— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) November 16, 2020

10.

Boris Johnson ’fit as a butcher’s dog.’ That butcher’s dog now has canine coronavirus, distemper, ticks, fleas, worms and mange. Probably rabies.

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) November 16, 2020

11.

Social Distancing Tip:
If you aren't sure how far 2m is, trying using 2 feet instead. pic.twitter.com/L7CyX2IiB8

— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) November 16, 2020

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Lockdown laughs: our 12 favourite funny takes on the pandemic’s progress

Image Sepet and Sam Moqadam on Unsplash,