Our 11 favourite guesses at why the lockdown briefing was delayed
my sources tell me the delay is because they're deciding whether to describe the lockdown as a frightmare or spooktacular
— joe (@mutablejoe) October 31, 2020
Sorry for the delay, Boris is struggling with the routine. Also the tutu that was ordered for him is two sizes too small. Bear with us.
— Darren Dutton (@Darren_Dutton) October 31, 2020
Has anyone checked the fridge?
— 🏳️🌈 Max 🏳️🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) October 31, 2020
"Are you done?!" Shouts Cummings
"Just a couple more" the intern replies quickly "there, finished! All references to not having a second lockdown have been deleted from our social media"
"Ok Boris, you can go on now, say we were having a last minute meeting" says Dominic
— Chris PG 🌈 (@chrispurchase) October 31, 2020
do you think they’re delaying it in case the covid numbers go down in the meantime
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) October 31, 2020
the delay is because he decided *against* the stay puft marshmallow man costume
— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) October 31, 2020
Is he just having a really really big dinner?
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) October 31, 2020
Baffled re this delay. If Johnson doesn’t know what he’s going to say, why doesn’t he just look at the Twitter feed of one of the dozen journalists he’s briefed?
— The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) October 31, 2020
James O’Brien may have used metaphor, but he can’t have been far off the mark with this response.
The press conference has been delayed because a turd is proving resistant to polish, a pig is refusing to wear lipstick & a Prime Minister is at war with observable reality.
— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) October 31, 2020