A Covid Christmas, pubs and the Rule of Six – 11 funny posts about the pandemic
We hope you’ve all got your heads around the new rules and are ready to stitch nine – or whatever. Over on Twitter, people have been wondering about a Covid Christmas, vaccines and the Rule of Six, amongst other things.
These are our favourite musings.
christmas day. dad hands you a present. it certainly *feels* like AstraZeneca's ChAdOx1 nCoV-19 vaccine. heart pounding, you unwrap it. out falls the Moderna mRNA-1273 injection. the blood drains from your face. "just like you wanted!", says dad. you nod, fighting back the tears.
— alex kealy (@alexkealy) September 21, 2020
“Two weeks of national lockdown? Who ordered the two weeks of national lockdown?” pic.twitter.com/0eRetSbtyU
— Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) September 20, 2020
if you’d told me six months ago that we’d be in the same place six months later because this government paid Deloitte and Serco millions for a testing and tracing system that doesn’t work, headed by one of their mates, i’d probably be like…. sounds about right
— Hettie O'Brien (@hettieveronica) September 21, 2020
Tories: "It's your patriotic duty to go the pub"
"Why would you do that?!"
"We've made restaurants cheaper we have to save the economy!"
"Can't believe you people would go to restaurants"
"You have to go back to the office"
"This is all your fault"
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) September 20, 2020
I hope they find a vaccine soon.
I genuinely can't take another 6 months of listening to my son talk about Minecraft
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) September 23, 2020
Stop! Are your teens texting about Coronavirus?
wyd: watch your distance
Lmao: leave mask across orifices
Wap: waiting a PCR
Lol: lines outside Lidl
Wtf: why testing failure
Ttyl: tier (2) test you later
WTF: Wash those fingers
— Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) September 23, 2020
— Phlegm Clandango (@Cain_Unable) September 20, 2020
Why 'Covid marshall' and not 'lovely re: two metre maid'?
— The Original Twitflup! (@TheRealFlups) September 21, 2020
A parents greatest fear.
2019: My child might be kidnapped.
2020: They might innocently cough once in school and be sent home for 14 days 😱😱😱😱😱😱
— Neil Friday McGourty (@Mcgourty22N) September 21, 2020
Only six friends, table service & finished by 10pm.
That’s not fighting a pandemic.
Those are criteria for a middle-aged night out.
— Geoff Norcott (@GeoffNorcott) September 22, 2020
10pm pub closing not good enough. People will just go on to house parties. Need a mandatory 10:45pm National Crisis Bedtime. Teeth done by 10:40, light off 10:44. No you can't have a glass of water you should have thought of that before.
— Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) September 21, 2020
Finally, TikToker @rocksteadyeddie found the perfect way to express his faith in the public’s common sense.