Lockdown laughs: 11 things we’ve learnt from the pandemic

Oonagh Keating. Updated July 17th, 2020

The government’s own Chief Science Adviser has concluded that the UK’s outcome has not been good, which came as a surprise to nobody.

But what have we learnt from living in these extraordinary times?

1. Some questions just answer themselves

Is it Coronavirus pic.twitter.com/7QhwkrU3oF

— Sara Gibbs (@Sara_Rose_G) July 16, 2020

2. If a thing can be worse in some way – it will be

Of all the years to have 366 days in it.

— John-Luke Roberts 🥕 (@jlukeroberts) July 15, 2020

3. The government’s advice doesn’t get any clearer

Tory guidelines on facemasks for England:
Don't not wear a facemask if you're on a unicycle.
You can take your facemask off if you see a ghost but only if it's a scary ghost.
Facemasks must be worn in Gregg's between St Swithins day & 27:43 pm.
Sexy nuns can do what they want

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 16, 2020

4. Mask uptake should be encouraged

Sure, fine people who aren't wearing a mask £100, but also occasionally give some wearing a mask £1000. Like a mask lottery.

— Friz Frizzle (@FrizFrizzle) July 15, 2020

5. Experience has taught us all to be suspicious

When we do get this coronavirus vaccine, it better not just be cake.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) July 16, 2020

6. We’re not impressed by our leaders

This country's Covid response continues to just be Zapp Brannigan shouting 'stop dying, you cowards', on a loop.

— Gee Aitch Cee (@Scriblit) July 16, 2020

7. The benefits of masks are many and varied

bad breath? wear a mask! chin pimple? wear a mask! care about the safety and health of others because you're not some kind of monster who lacks common empathy? wear a mask!

— erin chack (@ErinChack) July 16, 2020

8. Some people must try harder

everyone that didn’t follow social distancing guidelines after they see lockdown 2 trending: pic.twitter.com/qEnxNWldHG

— kirsten:) (@kirstenbrowwn) July 16, 2020

9. Relationships are taking the strain

This quarantine has prompted a lot of questions from my wife like "when will things get back to normal" and "when are you going back to the office" and "can you please go do that somewhere else"

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 16, 2020

10. We’re beginning to see everything in a new light

Sorry but face masks are not an ideological attack on your personal freedom. They are lifesaving devices and, more importantly, they are little ear dungarees

— Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin) July 11, 2020

11. We wish the government would pick a stance and stick to it

“Told to wear a mask on Monday
Told we didn’t have to on Tuesday
Told again to wear one on Wednesday
But not on Thursday, Friday, Saturday
We’ll be ill on Sunday”
– Craig Covid
https://t.co/oHHa1ZaWwG

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) July 16, 2020

Finally, we’re all looking forward to the response from the Arts.

FILM IDEA: ‘The Mask’

Jim Carrey walks into a supermarket with an enlarged green head and spends the next hour and a half trying to explain that he is wearing one. Hilarity and a lot of frowning and finger pointing ensues.

— Scott Hoad (@ScottHoad) July 16, 2020

Image Screengrab