People have been joking about the pandemic – the 11 funniest

Oonagh Keating. Updated July 6th, 2020

It’s been a big weekend for the coronavirus. Christmas came early for it when loads of people went out, got drunk and forgot how to socially distance.

In happier news, the government has announced a £1.5bn package for the arts sector, which should help some if not all of the struggling companies from sliding to destruction.

Here’s what people have been saying about that and other pandemic-related things.

Mind you, I also once gave £1.5bn to the theatre industry, when I bought a gin & tonic and a programme at 'We Will Rock You'

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) July 6, 2020

The first rule of Fight Club is that you may fight with one other household in your own home as long as you observe social distancing.

— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) July 4, 2020

Wow. Lockdown really is being lifted. Just saw the Venga Bus is back up and running. Reduced service but still.

— Jarlath Regan (@Jarlath) July 3, 2020

it's now legal for two households to meet up, but they have to be both alike in dignity

— Lorna Rose 🏳️‍🌈 (@lornlornlors) July 3, 2020

“I’m dying for a beer” has taken on a new meaning today.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) July 4, 2020

the other benefit for wearing a face mask that we don’t seem to talk about much is that evil spirits that have been banished from other bodies during exorcisms cannot enter your body via your nose or mouth

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) July 4, 2020

The R rate over the next two weeks pic.twitter.com/ArCVeImEXq

— shane reaction (@shane_reaction_) July 5, 2020

Already been to the pub and the hairdressers, I've had a short and a back and sides.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) July 4, 2020

GOVERNMENT: Enjoy pubs and restaurants again!

PEOPLE: Yaay

GOVERNMENT: Thanks for getting back to work and paying taxes

PEOPLE: Umm okay

GOVERNMENT: If you get sick and die it's your fault now

PEOPLE: Wait what

— mo (@chuuew) July 4, 2020

10.

I am exactly one pound lighter than I was before lockdown. I don't want to lecture you all, but it's really not that hard – just say no to that extra roast potato, avoid the odd cream cake and elect to have a limb amputated. Not rocket science.

— Jason (@NickMotown) July 5, 2020

11.

– i just slipped in dog shit and fell face first into a swarm of angry bees whilst eating a honey sandwich.
– unlucky, well chin up. at least we’ve our holiday in leicester to look forward to…
– pic.twitter.com/rnxFPLVox4

— forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends) July 1, 2020

Image @barncreative on Unsplash