10 lockdown laughs – what do we know now?

Oonagh Keating. Updated June 23rd, 2020

There are rumblings that the required distance we need to stay from people from other households may be reduced to one metre, in line with *checks notes* what the 1922 Committee told Boris Johnson to do.

Of course, there are other things we need to know about our pandemic progress.

1. The drop to alert level 3 has implications

I'm delighted to announce that we are moving from Level 4 (Unofficial Herd Immunity) to Level 3 (Blatant Herd Immunity).

— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) June 19, 2020

2. We shouldn’t hold our breath while we wait for the app

Matt Hancock says “we’ll get there” with the tracing app which is has a similar timeframe to getting human life on Mars#marr #ridge

— end of daves ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) June 21, 2020

3. Some people are acting like it’s all over

remember that pandemic we had this year? that was a wild few months huh

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 19, 2020

4. People’s plans are still being disrupted

I was supposed to be at a My Chemical Romance gig with my mum today. We are both very sad, which I suppose is what they would have wanted

— Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin) June 20, 2020

5. The shops are open – with restrictions

People queueing outside Sports Direct must feel like a huge mug.

— Darren Walsh Puns (@DarrenWalshPuns) June 15, 2020

6. The lockdown has thrown a spanner into the Premiership

I've said before: the best way to get a result against Liverpool is distract them with three months of a deadly pandemic before the game. Few listened to me when I said this in September.

— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) June 21, 2020

7. Somebody could make a killing with the right product

My new high protein face masks pic.twitter.com/A8xKnjlKvQ

— Tankslapper (@tankslapper) June 21, 2020

8. It’s the same old story for some of us

I dont even have to wear a mask to promote social distancing. My personality works just fine.

— karanbir singh (@karanbirtinna) June 21, 2020

9. There are conclusions to be drawn from the data

The government have advised that Pubs that serve food can open and Pubs that don’t, can’t.
The only logical conclusion here is that eating food stops you getting Coronavirus.
So all those pounds I piled on during lockdown have basically been medicinal.

— Baz (@bazlyons) June 21, 2020

10. We even miss the rubbish things

i miss checking in to hotels and getting briefed on what the concept of a hotel is

— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) May 21, 2020

Image @tankslapper