How a train guard foiled a ticket cheat with detective work is essential reading
The guy’s shoulders slump. No response. Completely dumbfounded.
“… and I’m sure if I checked the camera footage we’d see you getting on earlier and buying that sandwich”.— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
Of course, he tried to excuse the previous lies, but nobody was fooled.
“I fell asleep. I was a bit spaced out”
“No problem, sir. Where did you get on”
“Wigan”
“That’ll be £71, please, sir”— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
If only he’d paid with cash.
The guy didn’t sleep again after that. He spent the rest of the journey staring down at that receipt.
I mean, the real crime here is the price of rail travel but, wow. What a trip.
— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
This is what people have been saying about the anecdote, not including the Didn’t-Happen brigade.
We need a tv show about a hard bitten train guard who plays by his own rules
— crowfather (@crowfather1) 11 January 2020
This thread is one hell of a drama. https://t.co/0RyKT6bMpK
— Dave Jones 🏴🏳️🌈 (@WelshGasDoc) January 11, 2020
Pete was a hard-boiled, no-nonsense cop from London City murder squad. Twenty years of blood and mayhem on the mean streets had been more than enough. Time to retire to a job far away from the high risk life he led.
Train conductor… now there's a boring job he thought.
— De_Raff (@De_Raff) 11 January 2020
A tweeter named @bisonfish recalled another, less slick, attempt to defraud the rail service.
On the train to London from Peterborough years back, saw a guy give his ticket to the inspector, who squinted at it and said 'you printed this yourself, didn't you'. His response was to snatch the ticket back and eat it. Check, and mate.
— Mr ‘Teasy Weasy’ Raymond, stylist to the stars. (@bisonfish) 11 January 2020
How different Ignacio’s anecdote could have been.
😂 shame this guy was already full after his sandwich.
— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
Finally, if anybody has Hollywood connections, Ignacio’s open to a second career.
By night I’m a comedian, but by day, I’d like to be shooting a Columbo movie with @MarkRuffalo in the main role and @FunnySuzyB as exec producer. Give me a chance, Hollywood, you cowards.
— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
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This conversation overheard on the Newport to London Megabus is hilariously surreal
Source @comedylopez Image gratisography on Pexels, Wikipedia
