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Mark Wahlberg’s obsessive daily schedule has inspired someone to share their own – equally weird – timetable

Oonagh Keating. Updated September 13th, 2018

The internet has reacted with amazement to Mark Wahlberg‘s very strange daily routine. Comedian, Joe Heenan, however, has simply shared his own daily schedule, which is almost as strange as that of Mr Wahlberg.

This is Mark Wahlberg’s schedule.

And this is Joe Heenan’s.

It’s clearly going to be quite difficult to tell the difference, but let’s examine them in more detail.

For 5 hours after Mark gets up, Joe is asleep.

While Mark is playing golf, enjoying a snack and spending time in a cryo chamber, Joe is adhering to Hammer Time, taking a big shite, eating a Curly Wurly and Skips for breakfast – which probably explains the big shite – and watching Frasier.

When Mark is enjoying another snack, having family time and catching up on meetings and work calls, Joe is listening to Popmaster, recovering from the big shite and eating a brown sauce sandwich. A little chaser for the Curly Wurly and Skips, if you will.

During the four hours in which Mark has lunch, deals with more meetings and work calls, collects his kids from school and does a workout, Joe likes to “fanny about on social media”.

As Mark is enjoying dinner and more family time, Joe is realising that he’s forgotten to collect his kids from school, which he – eventually – rectifies, before settling down to drink until his 11:45 bedtime – four and a quarter hours after Mark heads off to bed.

Almost indistinguishable. If ever the government considers engaging a lifestyle tsar – they know where to look.