Boris Johnson has written his first Daily Mail column and the reviews are in! 17 must-read verdicts
As you may very well know by now, Boris Johnson’s first new job as a former MP is to write a column for the Daily Mail, and very excited the paper was about it too.
📰 We are delighted to announce Boris Johnson as our new columnist
Famed as one of the wittiest and most original writers in the business, Boris’s column will appear in the Daily Mail every Saturday and you’ll be able to get a preview on MailOnline and The Mail+ on Fridays pic.twitter.com/76uETBRmnF
— Daily Mail Online (@MailOnline) June 16, 2023
And it naturally got people wondering what this ‘erudite’ new columnist would have to say that would set tongues wagging ‘across the world’.
Well, wonder no more. It was this (not a spoof).
Truly epoch-making stuff. The reviews came in thick and fast and we’ve read them all – well, quite a few of them – so you don’t have to and these 17 surely say it all.
1.
Like to think if I was offered six figures as a columnist I could come up with a better pitch than “I like cheese” https://t.co/o2VBPQ6Cbw
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 16, 2023
2.
In which he admits to spending too much time in fridges. https://t.co/tjcJD8yVRO
— HENRY MORRIS 🇬🇧 (@secrettory12) June 16, 2023
3.
The emotional rollercoaster of the Daily Mail comment editor as they waited for Boris Johnson’s first column to drop into their inbox, and then got this https://t.co/BYBQSKHMSt
— Ben Kentish (@BenKentish) June 16, 2023
4.
Boris Johnson has gone from wanting to be World King to wanting to be Adrian Chiles.
— Parody Rishi Sunak (@Parody_PM) June 16, 2023
5.
It’s satisfying to know that when Boris promised the Daily Mail a witty column in return for a six-figure sum, he was lying to them too. pic.twitter.com/Xq0W5IwGZu
— Count Binface (@CountBinface) June 16, 2023
6.
When your standfirst fails to live up to your headline pic.twitter.com/kS986FQd9s
— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) June 16, 2023
7.
One day after being found in contempt of Parliament, he demonstrates his contempt for his latest employer. This single slice of twaddle cost Dacre & co well in excess of twenty grand. And the Mail is on a redundancy drive. https://t.co/TW5C4R1ETs
— James O’Brien (@mrjamesob) June 16, 2023
8.
“I once paid a six figure sum to employ a shit version of Adrian Chiles…” pic.twitter.com/Q3Ke8xq4b0
— JR Hartleys armchair (@JRsArmchair) June 16, 2023
9.
I’m not sure what the Daily Mail thought they were getting for their six-figure Boris Johnson column, but I doubt 1,000 rambling words on why he took appetite suppressants for a bit, but gave them up after they made him feel a bit sick, was it. pic.twitter.com/naN1B3q4yy
— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) June 16, 2023
