25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
They say a week is a long time in politics, but it’s much shorter in funny Twitter, because time flies by when you’re trawling for comedy gold.
This round-up is the result of hours spent browsing Twitter’s finest – and we think you’re going to enjoy it.
1.
Ooh, I know – is it rent? pic.twitter.com/RtUzFrTVWn
— Dan Wilson Craw (@danwilsoncraw) January 21, 2023
2.
VINDICATION IS MINE. pic.twitter.com/YkWAMEg4di
— Joshua “Daddy Apron” Berwald (@joshua_boe) January 27, 2023
3.
i mean i thought it was a good idea pic.twitter.com/aillmJHkZb
— tate (@50FirstTates) January 23, 2023
4.
year 2043 a tesla mistakes my bike for an exit and slams into me at 75mph. med-ai severs a spinal nerve during surgery. my court appointed lawbot loses the malpractice lawsuit. bankrupt. depressed. i text “i want to die” to my therapist. “Hi Leon! Feelsbot is sad to hear that 🥺”
— leon (@leyawn) January 24, 2023
5.
Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived implies the second one somehow managed to carry on living without a head.
— Jen Furby The X Stitcher Ⓜ️A™🪙 (@The_X_Stitcher) January 25, 2023
6.
If I were a scaffolder I would simply lay the scaffolding down gently and quietly
— 24 carat tragic (@our_je55) January 24, 2023
7.
I know it's a long shot but does anyone know what a trebuchet is ?
— 💂🏻♀️👋🏻вєαя🍻🇬🇧™ (@BigBearF1) January 23, 2023
8.
having tomato soup while wearing a white jumper pic.twitter.com/asHNnEvVfG
— Toby Earle 🇺🇦 (@TobyonTV) January 25, 2023
9.
Babies are so generous. They’ll give you anything you want, as long as what you want is half a boiled carrot that has already been in their mouth
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) January 25, 2023
10.
‘In the first half it was Albrighton’
‘It was all Brighton was it?’
‘No it was Albrighton. Albrighton scored in the first half.’
‘Oh.’
‘Then in the second half it was all Brighton.’
‘Albrighton scored again did he?’
‘No not Albrighton. It was all Brighton.’
‘What?’
etc. pic.twitter.com/7nnyI3rDLD— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) January 21, 2023
11.
When someone likes me I like to joke to them that they just caught jonorrhea, haha
Then they usually don't like me anymore
— Jono (@whoinvitedjon) January 25, 2023
12.
I spent all night convinced that my MacBook Air had a hardware failure—random text entry, clicking led to weird behavior, etc. I read console logs, booted into safe mode, performed hardware diagnostics. It turns out my cat was sitting on the wireless keyboard in the other room.
— Jeremy Gibbs (@jeremy_gibbs) January 24, 2023
