‘What do we all pretend no-one does but in truth we all do it?’ – 23 funniest (and most relatable) responses

Over on Reddit TheBlanketFortPirate had a question and it didn’t end up half as NSFW as you might think it would, honest.

‘What’s something we all just pretend no one does, but in truth we know we all do it?’

And it went wildly viral prompting lots of very funny and entirely relatable answers. Here are our 23 favourites.

1.

“It is not the picking of the nose that separates us, but what comes after”

‘My dad, 2015.’
Big_Nasty_420

2.

‘Reading comments/texts multiple times after sending/posting them. Just to let the fact that you’re a modern day Shakespeare settle in.’
Nexrosus

3.

‘Making up conversations in my head before something important. Like I will say this and then the response from other person might be this.. sometimes it can go for 10-15 min before I snap back to reality.’
hastinapur

4.

‘Panic clean before guests come over to then apologize for the mess.’
StressAccomplished30

5.

‘Kids hide their profanity from adults, and adults hide their profanity from Kids. Because both sides must maintain the illusion that the other side doesn’t know that they know profanity.’
nagol93

6.

‘Winning fake arguments in your head.’
paradise_lost9

7.

‘Read messages from the notification bar then pretending you didn’t see the message only much later.’
kaylaandre

8.

‘Assume you are “above average” intelligence.’
Kingpine42069

9.

‘Convincing yourself in your head that everyone around you is doing things perfectly and at full efficiency and expect the same of the people around them.

‘No? Just me?’
adamantitian

10.

‘When you go into an aisle in the grocery store and you see someone in front of the object you’re looking for so you pretend you’re getting something else all while hovering near them waiting for them to leave that area so you can get said object.’
1Shadowspark1

11.

‘Deliberately delay responses to text messages and e-mails, even though it would be convenient to reply.’
Back2Bach

12.

‘Intrusive thoughts that make us question whether we’re secretly psychopaths.’
Advanced_Union6240