25 favourite funny tweets of the week
Happy ‘Panicking because you’ve just noticed it’s nearly Christmas’ week. We’ve been distracting ourselves from that fact by looking for funny tweets to share with you – and we hope you like them as much as we do.
1.
Pronouncing “Ventricles” like an ancient Greek hero until my attending lets me go home.
— Empty Bennett (@BennettEmpty) November 26, 2022
2.
As an alpha male, I rebuke rollercoasters. I will not be jostled and flown along a silly track according to another man's engineering. Flipping around some pervert's dream. And what if I squeal??
— philip matarese (@philorphilip) November 25, 2022
3.
Girls don’t want boys. They want a Muppet Pride and Prejudice.
— Arielle Dundas (@ArielleDundas) November 27, 2022
4.
If I wanted to give the world nanochips, I'd put them in Quality Street's green triangles, not a vaccine.
— @[email protected] (@Lesism) November 28, 2022
5.
My kids have just discovered that the family sick bowl and the cake mix bowl are one and the same. In my defence, this was also the case when I was growing up … but now I’ve said it out loud, I realise I need to break the cycle. I won’t be taking any further questions.
— Sarah Turner (@TheUnmumsyMum) November 27, 2022
6.
Volkswagen Italy, please never change your Instagram handle. pic.twitter.com/BD2efn63za
— Mick (@mikjcal) November 28, 2022
7.
Gonna tell my kids this was ABBA https://t.co/MEHdQhh3Aj
— Félicien Cassan (@FelCassan) December 1, 2022
8.
Mom: “Don’t wind the dog up”
Me: pic.twitter.com/rgzRl2XPme
— Chucky 🔥 (@mickeywon234) November 28, 2022
9.
Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.
— Roshan Patel (@roshanpateI) November 28, 2022
10.
when Zendaya and tom holland get married he's gonna take her last name and become just Tom
— turandot (@godhelpthegrl) November 28, 2022
11.
By Helga Stentzel pic.twitter.com/LOgkv8TeLR
— Abstract➿Natālija (@Unique_Abstract) November 27, 2022
12.
I don't see him and Gere having the chemistry but I guess we will never know. pic.twitter.com/FIpGpWos1T
— Jay C0yle 🏳️⚧️ (@JPierreCoyle) November 30, 2022
