Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
It’s Friday. It’s not five to five or Crackerjack* but it is Tweets of the Week time.
*niche cultural reference for Brits over 40.
Sit yourself down, grab whatever hydration floats your boat – not literally – and enjoy these offerings from some very funny tweeters.
People are always giving props to men like Prof Brian Cox, Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong but who discovered Heaven is a place on Earth? Belinda Carlisle.
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) July 30, 2022
— Andrew Blair (@freelance_liar) July 30, 2022
My kids were watching ‘Is it Cake?’ and suggested that we could have a competition where I make a cake that looks like something else. I told them they’d be lucky to get a cake that even looks like a cake.
— TwistedDoodles (@twisteddoodles) July 31, 2022
7 things Tom and Jerry got wrong about a stick of dynamite blowing up in your ear pic.twitter.com/HiTWGlJiIP
— Spurt Magoo (@spurtmagoo) July 28, 2022
There are many things that make me question where I went wrong as a parent, but none more than when my daughter wears Crocs with socks.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 1, 2022
Our youngest wants her own pet so can anyone recommend an easy animal that I'll be permanently taking care of after three weeks?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 1, 2022
Finally, a door that understands me pic.twitter.com/jQOIwfk6ng
— MF FairyPrincessSmoo (@Smooheed) August 1, 2022
— alex (@haneswhitetee) July 30, 2022
I was applying for homeowners insurance today and they asked if I had any pets to which I said, “yes, two cats.” And then they asked me “have they been trained to attack or cause bodily harm?” and I wanted to know if anyone had been able to do this because I’ll hire you
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) August 3, 2022
I would love to see an episode of The Great British Bake Off where the technical challenge is to bake alongside a 3 year old "helper".
— Rob Southern (@mrsouthernmaths) August 1, 2022
FUCK YEAH SAME pic.twitter.com/OAKhgyrkwx
— Nadine von Cohen (@nadinevoncohen) August 1, 2022
Every single person who was involved in the design and sign off process of those train toilets that slide open and have to be locked using a button rather than a physical lock, should be in jail
— charlotte (@charlotte_gggg) July 31, 2022