27 funny tweets to bring you up to date with the Tory leadership race
And then there were five.
Rishi Sunak
Penny Mordaunt
Liz Truss
Kemi Badenoch
Tom Tugendhat
Hours after claiming to be the only candidate who could stop people crossing the channel in dinghies, Attorney General Suella Braverman lost her place in the Tory leadership race.
Suella Braverman OUT
This is like the shittest version of the X-Factor
Except not only are the contestants all pricks, but when they win they get to continue f*cking up our country.
— Marina Purkiss (@MarinaPurkiss) July 14, 2022
Ms. Braverman’s defeat, and other aspects of the race to take Johnson’s dunce hat crown, gave Twitter plenty of joke fodder.
1.
BREAKING: Rishi Sunak says he will manage the economy like Thatcher if he wins, meaning he will level up the north by completely fucking it over all over again x
— Laura Kuenssberg Translator (@BBCFLauraKT) July 13, 2022
2.
Rishi Sunak is worth £750m. If I was him, I would just forget all of this PM stuff and have four nights at Center Parcs.
— Simon Harris – #LovelyBitOfSquirrel (@simonharris_mbd) July 12, 2022
3.
I like how the Rehman Chishti photo for the start of his campaign is also a suitable Rehman Chishti photo for the end of his campaign. pic.twitter.com/tRRS2X59TE
— Andrew Male (@Andr6wMale) July 12, 2022
4.
— Massive Attack (@MassiveAttackUK) July 13, 2022
5.
‘I’m not a snake’ says Michael Gove, before dislocating his jaw to swallow an antelope.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) July 13, 2022
6.
Me rooting for Tom Tugendhat like when I go downstairs in the morning and cross my fingers that my cat hasn't vomited on the couch and instead has just done it on the floor.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 14, 2022
7.
Right there's 5 Tories left in the leader race so it's time for them to be taken on a tour round a chocolate factory & the one who doesn't get sucked up a pipe or beaten to death by squirrels gets to be PM
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 14, 2022
8.
We've had ersatz Winston Churchill. Now, in Penny Mordaunt, we are going to have ersatz Margaret Thatcher. Might as well pick the next front bench from a lookalikes agency,
— Otto English (@Otto_English) July 13, 2022
9.
Amazing to think Bunty could be the next PM. pic.twitter.com/ZWMuGiT0Vz
— THE SECRET TORY FOR PM 🇬🇧 (@secrettory12) July 13, 2022
10.
the #ToryLeadershipContest should have a custard pie round where members of the public get to splat each candidate with a custard pie. Would definitely add something I think
— dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) July 12, 2022
11.
The Conservatives seem to think that the diversity of their leadership election candidates proves that absolutely anyone can become PM. We elected Johnson. This isn't news.
— Paul Sinha (@paulsinha) July 14, 2022
12.
Nigel Farage told me at time of Queen's Jublilee he had placed a big bet on Zahawi at 25-1. Good to see Nigel's understanding of British politics hasn't deserted him
— Denis MacShane (@DenisMacShane) July 13, 2022
13.
I’m standing to be the next leader of the Conservative Party and your Prime Minister. For me it’s about aspirational conservatism, fresh ideas, fresh team for a fresh start taking our great country forward. (Full video on my Facebook page). pic.twitter.com/6MQgMXLxoh
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) July 10, 2022
14.
there is no way he hasn't called himself or a mate 'The Archbishop of Banterbury'
(pic @StefanRousseau) pic.twitter.com/AxhNKYkIV3
— Toby Earle 🇺🇦 (@TobyonTV) July 14, 2022
