These 26 dad jokes are so bad they’re …still bad, actually – but very funny
We hope everyone who celebrates Father’s Day had a good one on Sunday, with plenty of whatever it takes to make things special for you.
Perhaps you indulged in a few dad jokes. Better still – perhaps you saw Olaf Falafel’s tweet about bad dad jokes and got lost down the rabbithole thread that followed.
Here’s what started it.
For Father’s Day, let’s start a really bad Dad-joke thread, I’ll go first:
What’s red and invisible?
No tomatoes!
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) June 19, 2022
These responders understood the assignment. You clearly don’t need to be a dad – or even a man – to have a good/bad dad joke in your locker.
1.
Knock knock – Who’s there? Maybe a big horse. Maybe a big horse who? Maybe a big horse I’m a Londoner.
— GP15 (@GraemePowrie) June 19, 2022
2.
what's red and smells like blue paint?
…red paint.
— Alan (@crowbloke) June 19, 2022
3.
What dya call a man with a plank on his head? Ed Wood.
What dya call a man with 2 planks on his head? Ed Woodward.
What dya call a man with 3 planks on his head? Edward Woodward.
What dya call a man with 4 planks on his head? I don't know, but Edward Woodward would— Mark Cook 💙 (@gwynmarkc) June 19, 2022
4.
Q: What have Sonic the Hedgehog and Jabba the Hutt got in common?
A: Same middle name.
— Beau (@DrBeauBeaumont) June 19, 2022
5.
Why is the green man always getting into fights?
Because he makes people cross!
— Gareth Baynham (@gareth_baynham) June 19, 2022
6.
What do you call a man stuck between 2 houses?
Ally.— Rugby Moaner (@WilliamDevllin) June 19, 2022
7.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the p is silent— Andrew Albert (@VeNT666) June 19, 2022
8.
How do you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
A weasel is weasily identifiable but a stoat is stoatily different— Pip 💙 (@MouettePip) June 19, 2022
9.
I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing. He asked, “Can you describe the symptoms?” I replied, "Sure…"
“They’re yellow, Homer’s fat and Marge has blue hair.”
— Ben Wilson 🇳🇿🇬🇧 (@wheronui) June 19, 2022
10.
What do mathematicians do when they have constipation?
They sit down and work it out with a pencil. https://t.co/OWAJWhH3Zd
— Alec East (@AlecEast) June 19, 2022
11.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
— David (@ginnersinner) June 19, 2022
12.
Why did the baker have brown hands?
Because he kneaded a poo.— Phillip Smith (@PhilAtCreamCow) June 19, 2022
13.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.
— Chris Hallas (@ChrisHallas) June 19, 2022
