People are sharing their best insults without using swear words – 27 hilarious takedowns

There’s nothing like a well-aimed and perfectly crafted insult, even better if it doesn’t result to swear words which, you know, is just a bit too obvious.

And now we’ve got a whole sack load of fabulous new pre-watershed insults to share after Redditor Crystalgamer04 asked this.

‘What is your best insult, WITHOUT using curse words?’

And the takedowns came flooding in. We’ve read them all so you don’t have to – well, quite a few of them – and here are our favourites.

1.

‘I bet your parents change the subject when people ask about you.’
EpicCalliope

2.

‘You’re difficult to underestimate.’
smellslikeloudoggg

3.

‘I expected nothing and was still disappointed.’
Mvnwolf

4.

“You seem like the sort of person who knows which color of crayon tastes the best.”
TrentWolfred

5.

‘I envy those who don’t know you.’
Geesehaveniceasses

6.

‘Stolen from Bob’s Burgers: if she was a spice, she’d be flour.’
GeneralEffective

7.

‘Your family tree doesn’t fork.’
braineatingalien

8.

“In the world of hot sauces, you would be ketchup.”
Substantial_Iron_352

9.

“I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.”
malignanttum0r_

10.

‘You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope they don’t die.’
MrB0rk

11.

‘One of my favs: You couldn’t pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.’
seenthewolf

12.

‘I’ve been called worse by better.’
CrooklynKnight

13.

‘You’ve only got two brain cells, and they’re both fighting for third place.’
skam_skins

14.

‘Your mom tells you not to call her mom in public.’
GiverOfGlizzies