It looks like Gavin Williamson will get a knighthood – no, really
Former fireplace salesman, Gavin Williamson, was sacked as Defence Secretary by Theresa May for leaking sensitive information – which he denied – and oversaw the introduction of a catastrophic algorithm that saw students in lockdown given bizarrely low A-level grades – which he didn’t deny.
His achievements include –
Suggesting the UK use troops to solve knife crime
Proposing the addition of machine guns to tractors to address an army equipment crisis – no, really!
Getting heckled by Siri on his own phone during a Commons speech on Syria
Telling a press conference that Russia should go away and shut up
Criticising how parents managed homeschooling during lockdown
So, he’s not the first MP whose name springs to mind as an example of unmitigated success, yet reports suggest he could be in line for a knighthood.
👀 And a knighthood for Gavin Williamson to “keep him quiet”. Tory insiders have long claimed the ex-chief whip knows too many of the skeletons still in PM’s cupboard.
— Pippa Crerar (@PippaCrerar) January 15, 2022
The move is apparently part of what is being described as Operation Save Big Dog – the push to help Boris Johnson keep his job after revelations of at least 17 parties or other forms of socialising among Tory MPs and aides.
Operation Save Big Dog
1. Give Gavin Williamson a knighthood
2. Cut the funding of the country’s biggest news organisation
— John Crace (@JohnJCrace) January 16, 2022
Rumours of the future Sir Gavin were met with levels of scorn previously only reserved for claims of Boris Johnson working hard or Priti Patel having compassion, and these tweets show just what people think of the plan.
1.
All I can say is, if a key strand of your political survival plan is giving Gavin Williamson a knighthood, maybe it’s time to give up and go home.
— Sonia Sodha (@soniasodha) January 15, 2022
2.
Bad move Boris on the Gavin Williamson knighthood if it’s true. We see you and it won’t save you.
— Deborah Meaden 💙 (@DeborahMeaden) January 16, 2022
3.
I'm giving Gavin Williamson a knighthood for 'exceptional services in keeping his big trap shut about all the dirt he has on me'.
— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) January 16, 2022
4.
NEW Platinum Jubilee Stamp.
Portrait shot just as the Her Majesty the Queen is informed she has to Knight Gavin Williamson… pic.twitter.com/l9sdrNvyTg— Higgins Cartoons (@higginscartoons) January 16, 2022
5.
Gavin Williamson, who held a Christmas Party on 10th December 2020 is to receive a Knighthood 🤦♂️
— Lloyd Hardy (@LloydHardy) January 16, 2022
6.
‘Sir Gavin Williamson’ may be the funniest thing since they made Baldrick a lord by mistake.
We are being led by clowns. 🤡 #JohnsonOut #ToriesUnfitToGovern
— Brendan May (@bmay) January 16, 2022
7.
Gavin Williamson to be knighted for services to ineptitude.
— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) January 16, 2022
8.
Gavin Williamson is being knighted. Christ on a bike.
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) January 16, 2022
9.
They’re giving Gavin Williamson a knighthood? Fuck me!
What for? Services to infecting children?
He’s been like the Pied Piper of Coronavirus.
— Super Tanskiii (@supertanskiii) January 16, 2022