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Want to know how the Downing Street briefing should have gone? You’re in luck

Oonagh Keating. Updated October 21st, 2021

It’s fair to say that Wednesday’s Downing Street Covid briefing – the first for five weeks – was a bit of a damp squib.

We eagerly gathered around our screens, only to hear Sajid Javid dismiss almost a thousand deaths in a week as “mercifully low”, before urging people to wear masks and get jabbed, while confirming that the government won’t be implementing any new Covid rules.

There was, however, a briefing that contained a lot of information about the government’s Covid strategy, but it wasn’t actually held at Downing Street – despite appearances.

Let’s look at that list again –

Just like we said there wouldn’t be a Christmas lockdown last year.

Just like we said we wouldn’t raise National Insurance.

Just like we said we had an oven-ready deal.

Just like we said we would keep the pension triple-lock.

Just like we said there’d be no hard border in Northern Ireland.

Just like we said we wouldn’t reduce overseas aid.

Just like we said everything would be better by spring 2021.

Just like we said we’d have a world-beating track and trace system.

Just like we said we’d give enough PPE to doctors so they wouldn’t die.

Just like we said we’d fix social care rather than kill the people in it.

Very credible!

Larry and Paul shared the video on Twitter, where it got much better reviews than the Sajid Javid version had.

As ever – it was a bit too close for comfort.

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