Sometimes the very best takedowns are also the simplest
Sometimes the very best takedowns are also the simplest, and they don’t come much more satisfying – or straightforward – as this.
‘He created us perfect,’ said beerbellybegone who shared it over on Reddit.
‘That’s funny. The Pope is fully vaccinated and has ordered everyone in the Vatican to get vaccinated or submit to regular testing.’
‘This is like telling people not to lock their doors because God will protect them.’
‘I’d like to hear her explain why church steeples have lightning rods.’
‘I bet this person has health insurance, car insurance and life insurance. I bet she wears a seat belt, a life vest on a boat, and looks both ways before crossing the street.’
And finally: ‘Reminds me of the old joke,’ said everydayimcuddalin.
‘A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.
“Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast.”
“No,” says the preacher. “I have faith in the Lord. He will save me.”
‘Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.
“Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee’s gonna break any minute.”
‘Once again, the preacher is unmoved. “I shall remain. The Lord will see me through.”
‘After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.
“Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance.”
Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him. And, predictably, he drowns.
‘A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, “Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn’t you deliver me from that flood?”
‘God shakes his head. “What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter.”
Source Reddit u/beerbellybegone