25 funny tweets of the week
The nights are drawing in, the heating may have been turned on by now, and we could all do with a distraction from the news. These 25 tweets from the past week certainly fit the bill.
Give your favourites a follow.
1.
the adult version of "pinch, punch, first of the month" is several hundred pounds leaving my bank account for rent
— Ken Cheng twitch.tv/kenchengcomedy (@kenchengcomedy) October 2, 2021
2.
Q. What was Bill Clinton’s nickname at the White House?
— Chris Hewitt (@ChrisHewitt) October 1, 2021
3.
His mum is going to be FURIOUS when he gets home! https://t.co/BvPeKuTL6B
— Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) October 3, 2021
4.
If you pedal backwards on a Peloton, fried chicken appears in the cup holder.
— Kellalena (@topaz_kell) October 3, 2021
5.
"did you adopt your cat" no it's my biological cat
— Flexy (@UziFlexy) October 2, 2021
6.
me: I brought a note from my doctor
dungeon master: that's not… look, your character has to battle
— cap’n watsisname (@capnwatsisname) October 3, 2021
7.
Nurse drawing her fifth vial of blood:
Almost done.Me: I’d hope. You gonna run tests or frame me for murder?
— Lori (@Cornjerker78) October 2, 2021
8.
The challenge I’m doing this month is called October and it’s where I just try to get through every day of October
— Erin McGuire Olson (@e_mcguire_) October 4, 2021
9.
If you don’t reply, “I’ve got the secret” any time someone asks you if you’ve got the keys, then I’m afraid you can’t be in my gang.
— Jayne Sharp (@Jaynesharp) October 2, 2021
10.
Just had this legend of a taxi driver. 👏 pic.twitter.com/4eOGHCrSNq
— Luke O’Riordan (@luke_oriordan) October 3, 2021
11.
I GOT INTO HARVARD!! 😍🥳🥳🥳 they left a first-floor window unlocked and i’m just walking around in here!
— trash jones (@jzux) October 3, 2021
12.
the end of the world as we know it, but it's just me realizing the only cheese we have left in the house is one of those measly packets of parmesan you get at Domino's
— baby smith (@itsBABYSMITH) October 4, 2021
