‘What is the greatest comeback to an insult you’ve heard?’ – 23 brutal takedowns

Everyone loves a good comeback, especially when the other person thought they were being oh so clever only to have it blow up in their face.

We mention this after Redditor random-joe-shmoe went viral with this question.

“What is the greatest comeback to an insult you’ve ever heard?”

And here are 23 stonecold takedowns for the ages.

1.

‘Joe Pyne interviewing Frank Zappa.

Joe: “I guess your long hair makes you a woman.”

FZ: “I guess your wooden leg makes you a table.”
BiffDebris

2.

‘Lol my mom was a librarian and pulled this one on a rude patron.

“Are you getting smart with me?”

“Would you be able to tell?”
gayestofborg

3.

‘Someone yelled out in a Walmart , “I’m not ashamed of who I am”. Another voice echoed back, “That’s your parents job.”
sourdoh3631

4.

‘My grandma asked my cousin, who’d had lots of partners and 2 kids at this point, if she was ever going to get married.

Cousin: It’s not the same nowadays. We don’t buy cars without test driving them first.

Grandma: Yeah. But they don’t let you put a hundred thousand miles on them either.

‘Point goes to Granny.’
IDKHow2UseThisApp

5.

‘A guy makes fun of his bald friend by rubbing his head and saying, “Wow, your head is as smooth as my wife’s bottom.” The friend also rubs his head and says, “Wow – you’re right.”
p38-lightning

6.

‘David Letterman: I’m not as dumb as I look.

Tina Fey: How could you be?’
adnanoid

7.

‘Woman I work with, but don’t like, was in a MOOD one morning.

‘Male colleague comes in, after putting up with her for a bit, looks at her and says, ‘Are you on your period or something?’.

‘She turns around and stony-eyed says, ‘I woke up in a pool of blood and if you don’t shut the fuck up, you’ll end your day the exact same way.’ Never respected her until then.’
florence1308

8.

“Easy, now … don’t let your brains go to your head!”
Back2Bach

9.

‘During WW1, Switzerland had a tiny standing army, but they were very skilled marksmen. Wilhelm II of Germany asked what 250k Swiss troops would do if he decided to invade with 500k German troops.

‘The Swiss said, “Shoot twice and go home.”
vmac2531

10.

‘I’ve been called worse things by better people.’
PMYOURBOOBOVERFLOW

11.

‘A French manager and a Karen were arguing. Karen: customers are kings. Manager: you’re in France, here we decapitate kings.’
Xyzen553

12.

bugfish03