25 favourite funny tweets of the week
Welcome to this week’s round-up of the tweets that really tickled us. If you like them, give this funny lot a retweet or a follow.
Huge if true. pic.twitter.com/0OlOoNS1bQ
— Angry People in Local Newspapers (@angrypiln) August 21, 2021
I've always wanted to take part in a police line-up, I suspect because I'd like to stand among various versions of my possible self and have it explicitly confirmed that I am not the worst me.
— Steven (with a ph) (@SJKSalisbury) August 20, 2021
No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don't want to go in the first place.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 21, 2021
[at the animal shelter]
Volunteer: This cat would do best going to a quiet home with no children.
Me: Can I go with her?
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) August 20, 2021
“I’m so glad you find this amusing, Patricia.” pic.twitter.com/miO5jSBd2F
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) August 20, 2021
Every man that has a pony tail keeps nun-chucks under their pillow
— Stefan Urquelle (@OfficeofSteve) August 20, 2021
after your toddler says “I'm old enough to dress myself, now” pic.twitter.com/QAVF0dHB7N
— an english human 🤔 (@English_Channel) August 20, 2021
When sewing, always remember pattern placement is REALLY important! 😂🤣😂 pic.twitter.com/XR2zyhGTrn
— Stand Of Elders #DumpTrump #DitchMitch (@standofelders) August 21, 2021
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they keep laughing at you, then they won’t stop fucking laughing at you. Bastards.
— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) August 21, 2021
Dir. – John Carpenter. pic.twitter.com/YHFzH0754K
— George (@wappingraces) August 20, 2021
I’ve been described as being like Peter Pan, not because I look youthful but because we let a dog look after our children.
— james menzies (@jamesmenzies1) August 23, 2021
tv producer: sorry, Gordon, but your cookery show sounds a little boring
Gordon Ramsay: oh fuck off
tv producer: *gasps* wait, say that again
— van gothula (@surrealvehicle) August 23, 2021