Service staff are sharing the funny lies they tell customers to get them off their back – 23 favourites
It all started when writer Makayla – @makaylathinks over on Twitter – shared this very funny (and very clever) – tactic a colleague once used with customers whenever they messed up.
i once worked with someone who told customers “sorry, it’s my first day!” any time they messed up. for 2 years straight
— makayla (@makaylathinks) May 19, 2021
And it prompted people – lots of people – to share their own hilarious shortcuts to get customers off their back.
Here are our 23 favourites.
1.
My boss used to say “sorry my boss says I can’t do that.” She was the owner
— veronica 🕳 (@flashlightdad) May 19, 2021
2.
Best thing about retail work is when a customer asks you to check the back stock room and you go back there for a 10 minute break 😅
— Sir Ron Ⓥ (@Skressed4Now) May 19, 2021
3.
I was once REALLY hungover & had to work on an hours sleep- a customer asked me what the time was- I looked at my watch & my brain couldn’t comprehend the time- I just said a RAndoM time & he went “huh?” my lying ass said I went on holiday & forgot to change the time back😂💀
— S✨ (@s4hana_ox) May 19, 2021
4.
I do this all the time. Used to work with a company that would script out what we were to say to customers and everyday we told them we were new at our job. Best thing they ever taught me.
— Sarah (@Sarah43529616) May 19, 2021
5.
If you’re in a sales job a great one to lean on is “corporate says we’re not allowed to do that it’s against company policy” and act annoyed with “corporate” about it. Then you can both blame someone else. Works like a charm.
— Long Liv (Taylor’s Version)🤠 (@folklorefandom) May 19, 2021
6.
I once worked with a waitress who told all her tables, every night, that it was her birthday and she had to work a double shift. Genius.
— Anno Bonnano (@Prairieopolis) May 19, 2021
7.
Had a boss that literally owned the store tell customers “idk the manager just does it that way” as an explanation for almost anything.
— unapologetic FOB fangirl (@MidnighterSarah) May 19, 2021
8.
& blaming the kitchen for your own mistakes 😭 they don’t have to deal with customers 🤷♀️
— kleptosaniac (@serpentghost) May 19, 2021
9.
Lmao when I worked in sales one of the top agents told every customer they share a birthday as soon as a customer gave up that information. Only man I know who knows all 12 zodiac signs and their dates till this day lol.
— Leko_Sama (@L3kx_Miyagi) May 19, 2021
10.
whenever there’s a complaint I always blame it on an imaginary new person
— Barbtholomew (@mightychance) May 19, 2021
11.
I worked at a place where anytime someone who’d been there since it opened messed up, someone else would always say “it’s ok, I remember my first day”
— 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️Lilith 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 (@PatientLily) May 19, 2021
12.
In healthcare you gotta do the opposite. Even when this is the first time you’re doing something, you gotta tell the patient that you’ve done this several times so that they’re calm and you’re confident
— Jessica (@suchprettyneck) May 19, 2021
