Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
We plumbed the depths and scaled the heights of this week’s Twitter to bring you twenty-five absolute belters. If you like them, give your faves a follow. If you don’t – nobody needs to know that stuff. Keep it to yourself.
1.
This is the guy who played Sherlock Holmes, right? pic.twitter.com/9NiDwjpCiy
— Severed Sons ❄️ D&D Podcast (@SeveredSonsDnD) May 1, 2021
2.
oh, so ‘eyes are the window to the soul’ you all lap up but ‘nostrils are the garage of the face’ you have a problem with
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) May 3, 2021
3.
him: is this the first time you’ve swaddled a baby?
me: yes but I’ve rolled a lot of joints pic.twitter.com/NKMgTzxDOX
— 🇨🇦SueCorvette🇨🇦 (@suecorvette) May 3, 2021
4.
Imagine finding an alien baby in the middle of your cornfield and naming it Clark.
— Prime Minister Warren G. Harding (@PopeAwesomeXIII) May 3, 2021
5.
My 4yo said wouldn’t it be funny if she was the queen and I was her servant and we both laughed and then I cried bc that’s my actual real life
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 5, 2021
6.
Guy who invented the clock: there will be 12 numbers on it
Friend: so the day will be divided into 12 segments?
Inventor: no, 24
Friend: so will the day start at 1
Inventor: the day will start at the 12, which is at night
Friend:
Inventor: the 6 means 30
— llama | twitch.tv/llamainatux (@LlamaInaTux) May 5, 2021
7.
Spider-Man’s Spidey-Sense but it’s my dog knowing that someone somewhere in the house is quietly eating cheese.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 5, 2021
8.
intermittent fasting? i just slept 7 hours without a snack what more do you want from me?
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 5, 2021
9.
I see lots of millennials doing great stuff and think “we’re gonna be okay,” then I remember they absolutely adored the Jonas Brothers
— ADHDean (@ADHDeanASL) May 4, 2021
10.
Crikey, how hot is her coffee? pic.twitter.com/xZqOlmufV0
— Count Mysterioso (@MysteriosoX) May 5, 2021
11.
Lies. pic.twitter.com/A1xvWswiD7
— Dan Barrett (@TheDanBarrett) May 1, 2021
12.
I love oceans 11 because it dares to ask………..what if a bunch of handsome guys were all best friends
— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) May 5, 2021
