This epic tale of a Tinder date gone wrong is one for the ages
This epic tale of a Tinder date gone wrong has been doing the rounds again because it’s such a fabulous read with the most unexpected twist.
It was shared by @bvdhai and even if you know it already, it’s one of those that (probably) merits another read.
1.
I am about to tell you an epic tale about subterfuge, dating in the 21st century and the fall of human civilization. This actually happened to me and it could happen to you too. Get some popcorn. *Thread*
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
2.
So a few weeks ago I was on the Tinder machine shopping my soul around and I match with a very attractive young lady. No bio. Fairly innocuous.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
3.
I message her some random shit and we chat for an hour or so and she says "here's my number text me" I'm like okay sure thing.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
4.
I text her n we make small talk abt work for a bit then she goes, "actually, I have this huge presentation Im workin on for my job, would you be offended if I got back to you in like a week or two when Ive got more free time? Youre cute and I want to meet you Im just too busy rn"
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
5.
I thought well that's an overly elaborate way to ghost someone. I say "lol I wouldn't be offended, I totally get it. Hit me up when you're free"
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
6.
She says "thank you, I was worried you would think I was trying to blow you off haha but for sure I'll text you in like a week, I'm excited" in my head I'm like sssssssuuuuurrrreeee I respond "😊"
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
7.
Two weeks pass I completely forget about her then I remember and go back to tinder and I can't find the conversation. 🧐 I think well that's weird she deleted her tinder but I take it as… overly elaborate ghosting methods
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
8.
Then yesterday I get a text "HEY IM FINALLY FREE LMAO… my friend is DJing near Union square around 6 tomorrow I was wondering if you wanted to go for a bit then we could go get drinks after and see what happens"
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
9.
I'm like well I'll be damned. Genuinely didn't think she would message me. I reply "yeah I should be free, I'd be down" she says "amazing I'm gonna be running around today and tomorrow but just come around 6 and I'll meet you by the stage then we'll head out"
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
10.
I say sure thing, looking forward to it. This morning she texts me at 9 am "hey it's gonna rain today but I think it should clear up in time for our date" I'm like cool, I'll be there
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
11.
I play football with @mersrulesworld_ earlier today and express my incredulity at the situation. I find her Instagram it says singer, actress, model, 3000 followers and I'm like uugghhhh I dunno bro, THIS SHIT FEELS OFF but fuck it
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
12.
I make my way to Union Square. Eat a hot dog and look over by this open lot by 17th Ave and there is a stage and a DJ and about 100 ppl and cameras and shit and I think well this is some random ass Manhattan shit.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
13.
She texts me "hey I'm running a little late but just meet me by the stage then we can go" I wasn't gonna stand in front of the fucking stage so I stand off to the side a bit
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
14.
Eventually I see a girl moving towards backstage with two enormous bodyguards in sunglasses and realise it's her and I'm thinking WHAT THINE FUCKETH IS GOING ON
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
15.
I stay back and assess the situation and I'm like fuck I'mma stay right where I am til she texts me. The DJ eventually stops playing and she gets on the stage and I'm so fucking confused but think well I guess she's a social media personality or some shit
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
16.
I immediately think I'm too fucking old for this shit.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
17.
She gets the mic and is like thanks for coming out I bet you're all wondering what this is about and I'm like yeah what the fuck is this about
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
18.
She then says so I know all of you here are on tinder and I'm like 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
19.
Then she says I've invited you all here for a chance to go on a date with me and proceeds to give a hunger games speech about what its gonna take to date her
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
20.
ALL THE DUDES THERE SHE FOUND ON TINDER AND TEXTED THEM THE SAME SHIT
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
21.
Every man in the crowd looks down and mimes WHAT IN THE NAME OF SCOOBY DOO THE IS THIS SHIT to themself
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
22.
At that point I am genuinely amazed at the fallopian fortitude this girl possesses. This is top 10 greatest finesse of all time. Dudes actually stayed and played.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
23.
I went home.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
24.
I TRUST NO ONE. I TRUST NOTHING ANYMORE. VANITY WILL BE THE DEMISE OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION. DON'T GET GOT. THE END.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
25.
The scene pic.twitter.com/U0ROAWKDQc
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
And just a few of the things people said about it.
Lol no cap I thought you were lying until I found video of it 🤣🤦🏾♂️ pic.twitter.com/SwDxktHKQ8
— DJ BJ (@RealDJBJ) August 21, 2018
Thank You for sharing. The audacity, the boldness. The lies. The deceit. y’all got hoodwinked. I kinda love.
— Ned Stark (@fabiannamedina) August 20, 2018
If you lived anywhere else other than NY (and maybe Florida) I'd actually think you were lying.
— Lisa TheDesigner (@lisseer) August 20, 2018
"fallopian fortitude" was the absolute best phrase to come out of that thread.
— Audra (@audra_spiven) August 20, 2018
Braaa I was victim #205 😭😭😭😂 Kinda glad I was running on cp time pic.twitter.com/agBFXje8dD
— @MRG (@mrgnyofficial) August 20, 2018
READ MORE
Simply 17 of the funniest things we’ve seen on Tinder
Source Twitter @bvdhai H/T BoredPanda
