Simply 28 of the funniest tweets on the highs and lows of parenthood
‘Never work with children or animals‘ goes the old showbusiness advice – but being a parent definitely involves one, and can feel like it involves both.
We rummaged through Twitter to find out what funny people have had to say on the topic – and we weren’t disappointed.
I was driving with my son, listening to my playlist, so I thought I would be nice & ask if he had any requests.
“Yeah, for you to stop playing this horrible music.”
Have kids. It’s fun.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 21, 2021
having a conversation with my teenage daughter about what videos she watches on youtube, trying to explain that I'm not concerned about the content or offensiveness it's just they're really shit
— joe (@mutablejoe) March 25, 2021
It takes an entire village’s whiskey to raise a child
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 25, 2021
I remember my son falling on the stairs and claiming “I nearly broke my leg” and obviously feeling that wasn’t dramatic enough, added “off!”
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) November 29, 2020
Just remembered that time my son pretended to be a car mechanic & told me to come back on Tuesday when maybe the right parts will be in pic.twitter.com/T6WUQghV1G
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) January 10, 2020
Only 3 more sleeps until 7 finishes his breakfast & puts his socks on.
— Paul (@bingowings14) November 10, 2020
My son, disappointed that his tooth was still under the pillow and that no money was left for him, now believes that tooth fairies can get Coronavirus. I am such a bad father.
— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) March 21, 2020
Yungdaught: "MOM! COME QUICKLY! I NEED YOU!"
Me: *runs from kitchen into living room* pic.twitter.com/fuV5AA8SBo
— Flups (@TheRealFlups) September 27, 2020
Nobody learns to parkour faster than a parent chasing a toddler with a sharpie.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) March 14, 2021
The worst words a parent can hear: I’m not tired
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 26, 2021
Spent the last 15 minutes watching adorable videos of my daughter whilst ignoring my actual daughter who is downstairs.
— Shappi Khorsandi (@ShappiKhorsandi) April 6, 2021
The problem with having daughters is that whenever we go anywhere, I’ll often say ‘Let’s go girls’, and then I’m singing Shania Twain for the next 12 minutes. I know it’s only a 3 minute song but I like to nail it.
— Andy Kind (@andykindcomedy) March 26, 2021
THE SHINING remains a hugely empathetic portrait of a guy trying to get some work done with a child around
— Adam Nayman (@brofromanother) March 13, 2021
Today my youngest brought me a rock, said he loved it & wanted me to keep it safe. I held the rock for a few minutes before noticing a terrible smell from my hand. Turned out to be a piece of dry dog shit.
Have kids they said.
— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) March 14, 2021
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