Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
who tf decided to call it “emotional baggage“ and not “griefcase” ???
— billiam jaron. (@Will_daReal) March 27, 2021
Am I…am I about to fight these bagels? pic.twitter.com/jrdiJkipRT
— Bradford Pearson (@BradfordPearson) March 26, 2021
It just kind of seems like Confucius is phoning it in at this point. pic.twitter.com/pM9V4s3pXP
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) March 30, 2021
Gone in 60 Seconds is a documentary about me leaving work on Fridays.
— ☕ of Joe 🇨🇦 (@I_Bl33d_Purple) March 28, 2021
Wicked Witch of the West: I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
me: *acting coy & twirling my hair* you think I'm pretty?
— An English Human 😶 (@English_Channel) March 26, 2021
Funny story. I ordered some daffs from asda this week which didn't turn up so I complained and got a refund. Turns out Dave thought they were spring onions and they've been in the fridge for the last 3 days pic.twitter.com/Otj2eT2Esn
— Helen Newman (@honestlyhelen) March 27, 2021
Have you tried breakfast for supper?
– me, as a therapist.
— Ovary Action (@Bripping_Talls) March 26, 2021
Pitch: Kids animation set in a post-apocalyptic world, where things have got so bad that even the dead are trying to help tidy up. Working title: The Zombles.
— Chris Addison💙 (@mrchrisaddison) March 31, 2021
Healthcare in Canada is so good that if you have a terminal illness they simply apologize for your body and transplant your brain into Ryan Reynolds but if you don't behave you're assigned a lesser Canadian
— Sadie (@DrSadieM) March 31, 2021
Do you remember when ghosting someone was just mouthing frantically to your sibling “I’m not home” when they answered the landline.
— Simone (@SimoneSpringer) March 17, 2021
me: oh no
cat: *hacking harder*
me: please stop
cat: I'm in
me: I gotta stop writing down my password hints
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) March 30, 2021
ur father and i have seen your tweets and we're worried about u pic.twitter.com/uVoEZB1fTD
— 🦦 Sir Jackothy 6'0'' WaterBender 🌊 (@TommyRainmaker) March 30, 2021
My son just asked me what the cats' middle names were so he could scold them *properly* 🤣
— Dr. Claire Lee (@Claire_Lee) March 30, 2021
Image Ben Pitasky on Unsplash
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