Laurence Fox launched his election campaign with a big red bus – 11 spoilt ballots
Laurence Fox officially launched his London mayoral candidacy in time-honoured fashion – with some stuff written on the side of a bus.
Laurence Fox is launching his campaign to be Mayor of London. "I'm a single father and an actor," he says. "Well, I was an actor" pic.twitter.com/yhVEtHAKM8
— Michael Deacon (@MichaelPDeacon) March 30, 2021
He promised, if elected, to erect more statues – an obvious priority for all Londoners* – and to free London from lockdown – a feat which will be mostly accomplished a mere 11 days after polling, if the current roadmap holds.
Intriguingly, he also pledged to introduce American-style ‘broken windows’ policing, in which even minor illegal acts would be prosecuted.
I know we shouldn't tweet about Laurence Fox. I know, I know, But the *arrant bellendry* of a man who brags about breaking minor laws running for mayor on a platform of cracking down hard on people who break minor laws…
— Hugo Rifkind (@hugorifkind) March 30, 2021
The launch certainly attracted attention, though not all of it seemed like a cross in his box.
The year is 2036. Laurence Fox is still a guide on his open top tour bus. Where he drives around London pointing out film locations he wasn’t talented enough to be on.
— Chimene Suleyman (@chimenesuleyman) March 30, 2021
Took looking at this picture of Laurence Fox's silly bus about 5 times before I realised that's a picture of Churchill and not King Kong. pic.twitter.com/HtvV2KNol4
— Sarah🌈🧁🐱 (@sarahh_879) March 30, 2021
people laughing at Laurence Fox's campaign to be London Mayor but I have no doubt he can finish sixth above Dr Gammons of Ukip
— dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) March 30, 2021
The Churchill statue has been silenced – according to Laurence Fox. We will never be able to hear it speak again! pic.twitter.com/Lu4I5s9yui
— Otto English (@Otto_English) March 27, 2021
The folks behind him are gradually coming to the horrific realization the bus they boarded earlier today was not in fact just offering free tours of London. pic.twitter.com/rfmaVIYVHI
— Dmitry Grozoubinski (@DmitryOpines) March 30, 2021
Trying to get clarification of exactly what's happened with Laurence Fox's open top bus tour, but have received messages that unfortunately his ego may have become jammed under a low bridge by Fenchurch Street! 😬
— Not Andrea Jenkyns MP (@BlandreaJ) March 30, 2021
this looks like this group called 'Free London' have taken Churchill hostage and are now issuing their ransom demands of 'ONE no hang on THREE MILLION POUNDS STERLING NOT EUROS, STERLING AND SOME GREGGS SAUSAGE ROLLS BUT NOT THE VEGAN ONES BY MIDNIGHT OR THE CHILD GETS IT' pic.twitter.com/XUMMSBkNCs
— Sorcha Ní Nia (@Luiseach) March 30, 2021
As Mayor of London Laurence Fox will give you the FREEDOM to:
-go where you like, mask-free
-wash your hands without singing Happy Birthday
-cut vegetables on the same board as raw chicken
-eat partially reheated pork
-swamp the NHS as a result of your selfishness pic.twitter.com/O2E3hA9OWM
— Philip Ardagh (@PhilipArdagh) March 30, 2021
This looks like he's taken Churchill hostage pic.twitter.com/9ZxZYYgHbg
— Ian Ford (@ij_ford) March 30, 2021
I think it’s worth pointing out that, whatever his faults, Churchill would definitely have thought Laurence Fox was a knob.
— . (@twlldun) March 27, 2021
I have heard rumours that this Laurence Fox mayor thing is actually a sneaky way to maximise publicity for his reboot of On the Buses in which he will be taking the part of Jack. pic.twitter.com/PPJNOGWLtl
— Robin Ince 💙 (@robinince) March 30, 2021
Shaun Keaveny posted this tempting suggestion.
Wow. So political campaigning really has been reduced to writing a few words on the side of a red bus. In which case I am going to daub FREE CAKE on the side of a London bus and see how many people I can get to vote for me.
— Shaun Keaveny 💙 (@shaunwkeaveny) March 30, 2021
Gets our vote.
More from the Poke
‘Six friends reunited’ hilariously says the quiet parts out loud
‘When you’re finally allowed to socialise but you’ve forgotten how to talk to people’