Our 25 favourite funny tweets from this week
Get the kettle on or grab a glass of something and settle yourself for a Covid-free oasis of funny stuff, hot from this week’s Twitter.
If you like the tweets, give the writers a follow. If you don’t – maybe just keep that to yourself, eh?
1.
FOR SALE: Medium bag of nowt and a promissory note from Deputy Dog. £8.00
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) February 14, 2021
2.
Shout out to the top 5 ids in the world, giant squ, citric ac, Larry Dav, gender flu and Cup.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) February 14, 2021
3.
Honestly I think Judy Dench was fabulous in Cats pic.twitter.com/g7pJXOhYJ5
— Chaka Khan’t be arsed x (@mollmcguinness) February 13, 2021
4.
how is beauty and the beast a “tale as old as time”? a lady hooks up with a big dog, and all the candles in the house start talking? I hope that hasn’t happened before
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) February 15, 2021
5.
i’ve started reading before bed instead of scrolling twitter and not only am i sleeping really well, but i also think i’m better than everyone
— Alex (@spicycasserole) February 11, 2021
6.
I was born a female. I identify as a female. But according to Tesco's sticky toffee pudding I'm a family of four.
— Kazz (@KazzJenkins) February 18, 2021
7.
This is still one of the most insane things to happen in modern history pic.twitter.com/p39BI8t9oG
— Lazy Cowboy 🤠 (@lazypoolboy) February 13, 2021
8.
I can't wait for the Apple car pic.twitter.com/dFVyZe0sJA
— Eddy Vinck 👨💻 JavaScript (@EddyVinckk) February 14, 2021
9.
i used to check my phone like twice during a movie and now i check the movie like twice during my phone
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) February 13, 2021
10.
Anyone else notice your clothes only get caught on door handles when you are already angry or annoyed?
— Helen Ashby (@HelenAshby72) February 13, 2021
11.
this is true love pic.twitter.com/58IHo7IdsP
— Tommy Siegel (@TommySiegel) February 14, 2021
12.
Just walked past a bloke who was speaking very highly of the Doppler effect. He soon changed his tune, though.
— Jason (@NickMotown) February 15, 2021