Kirstie Allsopp’s take on schools reopening got the reactions you’d expect – 9 crafty takedowns
Schools are set to re-open today, at the time of writing, with some exemptions in areas of extremely high coronavirus rates, but there are differences of opinion on whether they should.
Boris Johnson insists it’s safe for pupils to return, although his science advisers in SAGE told him that it wouldn’t be possible to get control of rising infection numbers without closing schools, and teaching unions have advised teachers not to return.
Schools should only open if it is safe to do so. The definition of 'safe' will vary from 'actually safe' for Eton and Harrow, to 'ah fuck it, who cares' for state scools.#schoolclosures#borishasfailedtheuk
— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) January 3, 2021
Luckily, the debate should now have been put to bed, after the definitive advice appeared on Twitter, courtesy of *checks notes* property and upcycling expert, Kirstie Allsopp.
There were one or two issues with her comment, and tweeters let her know what they were.
And the thing about schools is that the only people in them are children. Go into a school and you'll see, there are no adults there. Children teach themselves. They cook the lunches, clean the floors, and do the deliveries.
— Michael Rosen (@MichaelRosenYes) January 3, 2021
As much as I value the parenting advice from old iPad smashy, I really must stress [wearily fetches megaphone] YOU CAN’T SPREAD TRAMPOLINE DEATH TO YOUR GRAN https://t.co/rnNf3IIY8C
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 3, 2021
she’s right. i was double bounced off a trampoline as a child and spread fatal and life changing trampoline injuries to vulnerable people I knew, who in turn spread it to people they knew & on & on. good point. great point https://t.co/WKT5yXiWeh
— Beth McColl (@imteddybless) January 3, 2021
How are we now 10 months into this and still people are struggling with the concept of a transmissible disease and comparing it to road accidents?
At least the trampoline bit is new… https://t.co/JZvWRbLXil
— Liam Thorp (@LiamThorpECHO) January 3, 2021
Fortunately, children are taught by children that are situated in children's villages far away from adults in a forest where trees are made from Candy floss and effervescent rivers flow with pop. https://t.co/SDa6dMr24c
— John Smith (son of Harry Leslie Smith) (@Harryslaststand) January 3, 2021
cars, swimming and trampolining don't readily transmit from said children to other much more vulnerable people and subsequently kill them though, do they Kirstie https://t.co/O4y5yfNHBe
— dan hett (@danhett) January 3, 2021
I heard three kids fell off a trampoline in one class, and then multiple members of all their families also fell off trampolines, along with half the people where they worked. https://t.co/6iUmR0Zt36
— Rich Neville (@RichNeville) January 3, 2021
Kids being ok on Trampolines/rarely suffering from Covid isn't the issue. Hopefully this picture will help you understand. pic.twitter.com/rtTASWpZwK
— HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) January 3, 2021
Good Lord. You retrained as a virologist in record time.
— Louis Barfe (@AlanKelloggs) January 3, 2021
Peter Smith had this excellent point.
You never hear Chris Witty or Professor van Tam offering advice on how to decorate your home using recycled unnecessary plastic objects.
Strange that… https://t.co/sAQuSzdqaN
— Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) January 3, 2021
Although – who wouldn’t watch Chris Witty make a Christmas wreath out of PPE?
More from the Poke
‘The guy who decides autocorrect’ is hilariously believable
A recording appears to show Trump attempting to commit electoral fraud – 11 votes of no confidence