This bargain hunter’s hilarious tale of last-minute Christmas food shopping is simply glorious
This is just a brilliant tale that went viral on Twitter because it’s so heartwarming and hilarious.
It’s a story shared by @RichyCraven about the time he left his family’s Christmas food shopping until the very last minute in the hope of getting some extra special bargains.
It was, in his own words, the most stressed out he’s ever been about Christmas and it’s better than any Christmas advert you’ll see on the telly. This is why …
1.
The most stressed out I've ever been about Christmas was when I was 16 and I got my first ever job, working at M&S in Dundrum.
As soon as I started I kept hearing these myths about the Christmas Eve Waste Sale, where all the food that wasn't sold on the 24th was marked down 90%.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
2.
Everyone I worked with kept telling me not to get anything in beforehand because there was so much left that you could get your whole Christmas meal after the shop had shut on the 24th.
Dad & I argued for weeks about it. Going back & forward on whether to get a turkey beforehand— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
3.
Eventually, we decided we were going to risk it.
I was working until close on Xmas Eve anyway so my Dad said we might as well give it a go.
Before I went into work that day he told me “Just at least try and get a turkey, no matter what happens”— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
4.
It was the most stressed I’ve ever been working in retail (which is saying something). I worked in Home & Gifts so every chance I got I would sneak over to Foods and see how busy it was, how many turkeys were left.
It was so busy I was convinced that there’s be nothing left.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
5.
Eventually closing time rolls around and all the staff clock out and wait for the sale to start.
Now comes my next heart attack. I thought it was just whoever was working Christmas Eve that was able to go but the entire workforce has trickled in since closing and is waiting.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
6.
I’m 16 years old and I feel like my family’s entire Christmas is riding on me.
I swear to myself that, no matter what happens, I’m going to come out of this with at least a turkey. No matter who I have to bludgeon to do it.
Even if it means not having a job on the 26th.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
7.
The main Foods manager comes out and ceremoniously announces that we can go in and I stick the head down and charge.
I don’t go quite as far as to trample anyone but I can’t say I wouldn’t have itf it had come to it.
I’m convinced it’s going to be an all out brawl and…— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
8.
It’s like something out of a Harry Potter Christmas scene or the end of Fantastic Mr. Fox.
There is *so* much food left. Everyone there could have taken 2 turkeys and there still would have been some left.
This was Christmas 2006 btw. The height of the Celtic tiger.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
9.
I grab a Turkey the size of an American toddler and then I’m just kind of at a loss.
There’s really was so much left over. I ended up grabbing sausage stuffing, croquette potatoes, duck-fat roasters and candied parsnips and carrots.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
10.
I start to drift towards the tills and manager asks me what I’m doing.
I think I’ve taken too much, there’s some spending limit I haven’t heard of.
Instead he’s asking me why I’m wasting food and throws pork crackling and sticky toffee pudding into my basket.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
11.
I go to the till, expecting this to be the big reveal where it will actually end up costing me my entire month’s pay.
It costs 23 euro.
Now my only problem is that I have about 16 kg worth of food and I’ve arranged to meet my dad 2km away because Dundrum parking is extortion— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
12.
There’s also no point of ringing him and asking him to come closer because my Dad comes home from work every day and puts his phone in the kitchen drawer & that’s where it stays until he leaves for work the next morning.
Does this defeat the purpose of a mobile?
Yes, yes it does— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
13.
Anyway. I schlepp this bounty all the way to where we are supposed to meet and I see that he is literally pacing, at 11.00 Pm in December, outside his car.
He sees me and he looks like a husband waiting for his wife’s operation results.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
14.
When we went through the shopping bags in the boot of our Corolla I swear I got some inkling of what it must be like to win Wimbledon and then do that thing where you climb the stands to hug your parents.
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
15.
He was instantly like “Rich, this is too much. How much did you spend? The whole idea is that this was supposed to cost less!”
I showed him the receipt and we ended up driving home blasting Springsteen the whole way.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
16.
Yes, Dad had to start prepping and cooking a turkey at 11.30 the night before but the next day we ate like Kings.
Or at the very least, people from Dalkey.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
17.
Anyways, the food was great and the best thing was thatdad made a big deal about me providing it.
Any time someone said they liked something he’d give me an elbow in the ribs.
By the end of the dinner you’d have sworn I’d taken the job as some sort of Oceans 11-style long-con— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
18.
Anyways, this Christmas is probably going to be a bit shit in comparison so it was nice to reminisce about a better one.
Also, I got a Creative Zen MP3 player which I’m still convinced is the pinnacle of music technology.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
19.
Reading over this, we come across a bit like the Cratchetts.
We weren’t needy or anything. We just couldn’t turn down the opportunity for cost-price pork crackling.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
20.
I’ve not known fear quite like writing this after a bottle of wine and then waking up to this many notifications.
For those of you asking, my dad is very much still with us.
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
21.
I just called him and told him about how he went viral on Twitter and his reaction was to take a beat, say “that’s nice” and then ask what I got mum for Christmas.
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
22.
Never forget pic.twitter.com/0nnmRMkWEb
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
23.
The replies to this are equal parts lovely dad memories and people furious that the Creative Zen lost out to the iPod.
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
24.
I’ve nothing to plug but maybe consider throwing a donation here?
I try to donate on Toy Show Day to assuage the guilt of being so mean to children on Twitter.“Make a donation to Barnardos” https://t.co/ytKxTMPJxl
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
And just a few of the things people were saying about it after the story went wildly viral.
https://twitter.com/MarianKeyes/status/1332267330722816001?s=20
This story is my favorite Christmas movie. https://t.co/h7JileLlUx
— Adam Liaw (@adamliaw) November 27, 2020
This thread is just brilliant. Better than any Christmas ad. https://t.co/NeXjhIvv0x
— Rachael English (@EnglishRachael) November 27, 2020
I love this – https://t.co/Z4MV4ML5fb
— David Nicholls (@DavidNWriter) November 27, 2020
This is the best Christmas thread I've read on Twitter. Absolutely smashing. https://t.co/jL5udZLUez
— Philip Nolan (@philipnolan1) November 27, 2020
If you’re looking for some good old, put a smile on your face joy today. This thread. https://t.co/bAFMiuP1CY
— Lisa McGee (@LisaMMcGee) November 27, 2020
Obsessed https://t.co/Eb8nBNc0Iv
— Annie Mac (@AnnieMac) November 27, 2020
This is a fabulous story, wonderfully told, and the Dad in the film adaptation has to be played by Colm Meaney. Them’s the rules https://t.co/X5aFbDh9bj
— Martin Doyle (@MartinDoyleIT) November 27, 2020
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Source Twitter @RichyCraven
