Trump’s team booked Four Seasons Total Landscaping instead of the luxury hotel – 26 concrete slam dunks
Shortly before CNN became the first of an avalanche of news stations officially calling the election result, Donald Trump announced that his lawyers would be giving a briefing at The Four Seasons.
But not that one.
US political journalist, Aaron Rupar, explained. It reads like a four-act farce.
The Trump campaign accidentally booking a press conference at something called Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia instead of the Four Seasons hotel they intended is such a perfectly dysfunctional way for this to end. The writers really outdid themselves. pic.twitter.com/ReBGskwOSq
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) November 7, 2020
And here’s the tweet that formed such a crucial part of Aaron’s update.
In case you missed it, Donald Trump’s legal team is about to do a press conference outside a landscape gardeners, located between a crematorium and a dildo shop.https://t.co/bbWTyzSMHu
— Mikey Smith (@mikeysmith) November 7, 2020
The posher Four Seasons confirmed the news.
To clarify, President Trump’s press conference will NOT be held at Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia.
It will be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping— no relation with the hotel.
— Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia at Comcast Center (@FSPhiladelphia) November 7, 2020
When people say “You couldn’t make it up” you always could, but in this case we didn’t even need to.
Twitter had a field day.
“Between a sex shop and a crematorium” is honestly the best summary of Trump’s career https://t.co/1cNCHGdHnn
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) November 8, 2020
This is not over. For we shall mount our righteous stand at Four Seasons Total Landscaping. Next to Fantasy Island Adult Books. Across the street from the Delaware Valley Cremation Center. Between the fire extinguisher and yellow hose. #MAGA pic.twitter.com/hxuAsbEjXi
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) November 7, 2020
Don't worry Trumpworld, the guys who confused Four Seasons Total Landscaping for the Four Seasons Hotel are going to mastermind a way to subvert the Electoral College and keep Donald Trump in office.
— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) November 8, 2020
I could write jokes for 800 years and I'd never think of something funnier than Trump booking the Four Seasons for his big presser, and it turning out to be the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot between a dildo store and a crematorium. pic.twitter.com/P45HV1daD9
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) November 8, 2020
Some say the world will end in fire/
Others say at Four Seasons Total Landscaping north of the Tacony-Palmyra bridge, near the porn shop
— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) November 8, 2020
Four Seasons Total Landscaping is also my secret code name for a bikini wax.
— Emmy Rossum (@emmyrossum) November 7, 2020
I’m pretty sure conducting the effort to reject Biden’s victory with a press event at Four Seasons Total Landscaping next to the sex shop and crematorium was not 3-dimensional chess.
— Steven Beschloss (@StevenBeschloss) November 8, 2020
Four Seasons Total Landscaping joins Barnard Castle and Pizza Express Woking as solid pub quiz answers for the 2030s.
— Joel Morris (@gralefrit) November 8, 2020
"YES I AM THE MANAGER OF FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING" pic.twitter.com/rxptMplquu
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) November 8, 2020
You’re telling me they booked a landscaping company?!? Not the hotel?!? pic.twitter.com/oqKeQlRhP2
— Sean Butler (@Sean_Butler1) November 7, 2020
— Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) November 8, 2020
I’ve really missed traveling these past few months. I need a change of scenery. Thinking about booking a room at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
— Brent Spiner (@BrentSpiner) November 8, 2020
Mistaking Four Seasons Total Landscaping for The Four Seasons Hotel is the new Mistaking the Racist Illiterate Money Laundering Host of Celebrity Apprentice for a Christian.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 8, 2020
yesterday's fucking clown show will never stop being funny to me. on my deathbed, I'm going to be giggling and mumbling "Four Seasons Total Landscaping"
— Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) November 8, 2020