Your weekly coronavirus-free funny tweet zone – our 25 favourites
If you live in Tier 2 or 3, this week has probably felt even longer than usual, which is why you deserve to give yourself a five-minute break and time to enjoy this coronavirus-free collection of funny tweets.
Spread the joy – retweet your favourites.
1.
Karen was talking about a place earlier, she said "It used to be a beef restaurant". We knew it didn’t sound right but couldn’t think of the right name until she suddenly said "Steakhouse!" but from now on they will always be beef restaurants.
— Fenton! Fenton! FENTON! Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) October 10, 2020
2.
Just for one week they should replace 'The Andrew Marr Show' with 'The Johnny Marr Show'. I bet that would cheer us up.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) October 11, 2020
3.
My husband and I are so married that even our GPS apps argue about directions.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 10, 2020
4.
Has anyone in the history of texting ever actually meant to write ‘ducking’?
— Jayne Sharp (@Jaynesharp) October 11, 2020
5.
Can't believe rich people can afford panic rooms and I just have to panic in normal rooms like an idiot.
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) October 11, 2020
6.
Monopoly gave me unrealistic expectations of:
1) Finding free parking
2) Joining the property ladder
3) Bank errors being in my favour
4) Buying my way out of prison— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) October 11, 2020
7.
took my dressing gown off the shoulder and suddenly I’m the people’s princess x pic.twitter.com/Zcm7EdRZrQ
— tomb (@th0m4sd4v1d) October 10, 2020
8.
People who think they’re too good to shop in Aldi need to relax. Go grab your bread & milk, a tyre, a baby monitor and a giant garden gnome and cheer up
— Rachael (@RachaelvsWorld) October 12, 2020
9.
Pretty sure we have more comfortable places to sit but ok pic.twitter.com/0cufQmceOe
— 🏳️🌈 Max 🏳️🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) October 12, 2020
10.
Sid from Ice Age pic.twitter.com/kr4OwKTF2G
— Faces in Things (@FacesPics) October 13, 2020
11.
— Tim Vine (@RealTimVine) October 12, 2020
12.
Teenaged werewolves all butt-flashing each other, forcing their friends to transform when it’s super awkward timing…
— batkaren (@batkaren) October 13, 2020
