Public Health England is to be replaced by a new body led by Dido Harding – 11 robust responses

8.

Was it Public Health England who skipped 5 Covid-Cobra meetings?
Was it Public Health England who advised handshaking when Milan locked down?
Was it Public Health England who allowed mass events in late March?
Was it Public Health England who trashed lockdown by backing Cummings?

— Femi – My mask protects you. Please protect me. (@Femi_Sorry) August 16, 2020

9.

After Willy Wonka murdered loads of kids in his factory you wouldn't trust him if he demolished the factory, built a new one and said that the main changes were to do with admin. Anyway Matt Hancock shouldn't be allowed to reform public health england.

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) August 16, 2020

10.

BREAKING NEWS ‼️
Public Health England to be replaced by new body, "Public Wealth England". Based on an algorithm that ensures that only the wealthy get healthy.

— Art Crunchy (@ArtCrunchy) August 16, 2020

11.

Disgraced Tory announces they're abolishing **spins wheel** the judiciary, to be replaced by a private company owned by their **spins wheel** uncle, which until now has only ever worked in **spins wheel** forklift maintenance.

— The Web of Evil (@webofevil) August 16, 2020

Finally, Alastair Campbell tweeted about the potential reasoning for the extreme move.

Breaking news from GNMS (government news mismanagement scheme.) We are sad to announce that our Quarantine Distraction, in which we hoped by creating anger and confusion among hundreds of thousands of holidaymakers, did not work. People continue to focus on our Exams failure 1/4

— ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) August 16, 2020

We have decided we need a fresh distraction and this means Public Health England will be scrapped. We are confident most of the media will fall for this, and hope the public can be as gullible. Further we are hopeful this will suggest PHE was to blame for our Covid failures 2/4

— ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) August 16, 2020

The highest excess death rates and deepest recession were helped off the agenda by our successful Channel dinghy distraction, but exams are proving a tougher nut. We believe the quick double whammy of Quarantine PLUS PHE should do the trick. 3/4

— ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) August 16, 2020

In keeping with our theme of trolling the nation via croneyism, and the reward of failure, we will be briefing selectively that Dido Harding, wife of Tory MP John Penrose, will run the new body. We stand ready to bring in further distractions should GCSEs go as badly as As 4/4

— ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) August 16, 2020

He might say that. We couldn’t possibly comment.

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