Our 14 favourite jokes about how the coronavirus crisis is going
The Chancellor’s Eat Out to Help Out discount scheme seems to be working well, as some people have been boasting of buying double their usual food and going into numerous restaurants on several days.
Boris Johnson’s weight-loss campaign …not so good.
People have been tweeting about Rishi Two-Snacks’ scheme and a lot more besides.
Bit of confusion in Lancashire as many people think the message is "EAT OWT TO HELP OUT" https://t.co/Zq564dKADG
— Shaun Keaveny (@shaunwkeaveny) August 5, 2020
I know Tom Hanks has had a tough quarantine, but on the upside he’s probably not had to spend as much time with Chet Hanks.
— Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) August 5, 2020
americans are actually just going to go extinct. pic.twitter.com/Lnkw0FSCBV
— ً (@maivinyl) July 28, 2020
Ironic how the same people worried the govt will use the Covid vaccine to track us are also the only people who “check in” to places on FB.
It’s like, really Linda? You went to Jiffy Lube & Applebee’s yesterday. We don’t care, the CIA doesn’t care, NO ONE CARES.
— Crystal Lowery Comedian (@Crystalllowery) July 25, 2020
I took my face mask off and there was a dead spider inside it, so I'm quite confident my current levels of horror are higher than yours.
— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) August 4, 2020
I just got kicked out of a flat earth Facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing guideline had pushed anyone over the edge yet.
— Kevin Shanks (@forensictoxguy) August 2, 2020
As scientists begin testing raw sewage for signs of Covid-19, experts suggest applying the same process to government briefings.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) August 4, 2020