Our 12 favourite reactions to the vacancy for Boris Johnson’s spokesperson

Downing St has advertised for someone to fill the new vacancy of official spokesperson, to carry out White House-style press briefings.

The salary is £100,000, if you’re interested, but you have to be able to refrain from making Barnard Castle jokes while the boss is around, which is more of a sacrifice than some could bear.

People had thoughts.

1.

Can’t the Prime Minister communicate with the nation on behalf of the Prime Minister? https://t.co/YLmLqBDK0U

— Stephen Mangan (@StephenMangan) July 29, 2020

2.

Does that mean saying what you are told to? Because if that's the case literally ANYONE without a moral compass can apply. https://t.co/iw0do8vr56

— Deborah Meaden (@DeborahMeaden) July 29, 2020

3.

Monkey seeks assistant monkey. Apply to D. Cummings, organ grinder, 10 Downing Street. pic.twitter.com/quCx8B7Jl5

— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) July 29, 2020

4.

Boris Johnson needs someone "to communicate with the nation on behalf of the Prime Minister"
I think he'll find that I'm already doing that. https://t.co/TueiAkRfQ4

— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) July 29, 2020

5.

They should go the whole hog and make it a fridge door at number 10. https://t.co/sVQNPr2BG0

— Drew Hendry MP (@drewhendrySNP) July 29, 2020

6.

Johnson needs a spokesperson.

Have I got this right? He’s got an advisor to tell him what to do and now he needs someone to answer his questions.
What is the point of having a Prime Minister? pic.twitter.com/zMWRLJMH23

— Denis Skinner (@BolsoverBeast) July 29, 2020

7.

Boris Johnson advertising for an official spokesman 👍

Official duties include "communicating with the nation", going to COBRA meetings, doing a bit of cabinet, walking Dillon the dog and raising an unspecified amount of children (if time allows)

— dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) July 29, 2020

Some people fancied a crack at it themselves.

8.

Might apply for that PM spokesman gig.

“Can you tell us why Mr Johnson’s advice contradicts that of his own scientific advisors and, indeed, the WHO?”

“It’s because he’s a cunt, Laura. Right, Peston, what dull fucking 20-minute long question do you have, you weird little shit?”

— 🏳️‍🌈 Max 🏳️‍🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) July 29, 2020

9.

I’ll take this job for no salary on the condition that Mr Cummings answers to me. https://t.co/Z6s2qgjXOG

— Brian Cox (@ProfBrianCox) July 29, 2020

10.

I'm in… https://t.co/D7sy1EltHn

— Dom Joly (@domjoly) July 28, 2020

11.

Oh I am applying for a new job. https://t.co/nW29EorZ39

— Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) July 29, 2020

12.

I’ll do it for free https://t.co/M3ixxyHUAF pic.twitter.com/woFrbwMkKp

— Seb Dance 🌹🇪🇺 (@SebDance) July 29, 2020

They’re all forgetting there’s already a shoo-in.

the room next door – Boris Johnson and the Kipper

now with subtitles by @vodathan pic.twitter.com/mt8wecMZYi

— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) November 10, 2019

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Source Christopher Hope Image @freetousesounds.com on Unsplash, Screengrab