This thread identifying all the different ‘reply guys’ is very funny and oh so relatable
Stand-up, singer and writer Sooz Kempner has done a brilliant thread on Twitter about ‘reply guys’, the various categories of men who reply when one of her tweets goes viral.
It’s a fabulous read and oh, so relatable. Plus, it prompted no end of replies from precisely the ‘reply guys’ she was identifying.
Here’s what Sooz – @SoozUK on Twitter – had to say.
1.
THREAD: This is a thread about Reply Guys. I like it when tweets go viral coz I'm a big show-off and Twitter is responsible for most of my career. When you go viral you get new followers, fun replies, sometimes even industry interest omg. But you also get: Reply Guys.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
2.
As soon as something goes viral your mentions are flooded with Reply Guys of all different species. For this particular viral-ish tweet here are the categories: pic.twitter.com/uziKTP30FZ
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
3.
PUNCH-IT-UP REPLY GUY: This breed of Reply Guy rewords your humorous tweet and behaves like he has written a hilarious take. “More like people who wore shitty fashions of the past now don’t want to put on a mask lol”. Not “more like”, mate…EXACTLY the same.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
4.
FACTCHECK REPLY GUY: An evergreen Reply Guy. They will factcheck whatever you tweet. In this case expect to see a lot of “sounds more 2004 than 2003” replies. But trust me, if you know a LOT about a subject and you tweet some facts a Reply Guy will “actually, it’s” you.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
5.
UNSOLICITED ADVICE REPLY GUY: You’ve complained about a thing, sometimes a thing from years ago. This Reply Guy will pop up to tell you where you’ve been going wrong and what you should do in future. If you say “I didn’t ask for advice” they get EXTREMELY offended.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
6.
TAKES IT LITERALLY REPLY GUY: You are not writing a fun tweet, what you’re doing is stating an absolute fact and he will reply to it with sincerity and gravitas. “The reason the shoes were pointed” he’ll intone “was replicating a popular mod era look”. FASCINATING M8 IDC.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
7.
CHANGE THE SUBJECT REPLY GUY: A very common Reply Guy, he sees your tweet and wants to talk about something else entirely. He’ll reply with “hey Sooz, seen they’re doing a sequel to the Sonic movie?” etc. It’s to establish to everyone that he’s more of a friend than a fan.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
8.
OVERFAMILIAR REPLY GUY: You’re a Girlfriend Experience. They bring up something from your past that you’ve mentioned in passing or on stage. “Did your ex dress like this, the one you told us about last month?”. When this Reply Guy shows up I draw all the curtains in the house.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
9.
LIFE STORY REPLY GUY: He saw you post personal anecdotes and assumes that replying to you with HIS life story will be very interesting. “Back then I didn’t wear bootcut jeans and pointy shoes” he’ll reply, “I wore baggy jeans and t-shirts, sometimes I wore knee-length shorts…
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
10.
…but mostly baggy jeans. My shoes were usually Vans or Converse, I think in 2003 it was Converse. My gf wore the same but we broke up in 2010, no idea what she’s up to now”.
Thank you, Life Story Reply Guy. Thank you.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
11.
NOT FUNNY REPLY GUY: This Reply Guy doesn’t find your tweet funny. And he needs to tell you. He needs you to know you are not funny to him, a Reply Guy. Also included in this is: Unfollowing Reply Guy. He tells you he is unfollowing.
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) July 15, 2020
