Chris Grayling has been put in charge of the Russia Report – the 11 funniest reactions
Although not every rhyming nickname bestowed by the British public makes the most sense – I’m looking at you, Dishy Rishi – the use of Failing Grayling for the oft-sacked Chris is entirely deserved.
When he was Justice Secretary, Grayling banned prisoners from receiving books from visitors, limiting their access to those already owned by the prison.
He also privatised the probation service, costing the country at least £170 million when it had to be renationalised after catastrophic problems, such as escapes and a huge rise in reoffending.
As Transport Secretary, he changed the railway timetables to such devastating effect that thousands of services were cancelled and thousands more ran late.
And of course, never forget the ferry company awarded a $14 million contract for post-Brexit services, which had no ferries and hadn’t had to go through the tendering process, leading to Eurotunnel successfully suing for a further £33 million.
By no means an exhaustive list.
After a period of relative quiet, he’s suddenly in view, like that blob of sour milk that alerts you to the fact that your tea has been rendered undrinkable.
Boris Johnson nominates Chris Grayling to chair key security committee overseeing Russia report https://t.co/qAlpDEjh4C
— The Independent (@Independent) July 9, 2020
Twitter had a few things to say on the matter – and these were our favourites.
1.
The good thing about Chris Grayling being head of the Intelligence committee is that a man who paid £14m to a ferry company with no ferries is likely to publish the Russia Report by mistake instead of covering it up. https://t.co/riAnFA9t3q
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) July 9, 2020
2.
Chris Grayling is the perfect person to handle the release of the Russia report. As long as he performs as well as he has in his career to date, the report has zero chance of ever seeing the light of day. https://t.co/vpEecbLKs5
— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) July 9, 2020
3.
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA
CHRIS GRAYLING! https://t.co/o7vJJKYRP5
— Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) July 9, 2020
4.
yeah, sure, why the fuck not. *screams into the void* https://t.co/gNrN6Qd0et
— Sarah Phelps (@PhelpsieSarah) July 9, 2020
5.
3 seconds later – Chris Grayling has accidentally burned, shredded and lost the report having given it and £50m to a man running a pigeon hire service. The investigation is now considered closed. https://t.co/XYCQlkHEEO
— HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) July 9, 2020
6.
If cancel culture wants to immediately get everybody onside, it should get cracking with Chris Grayling. https://t.co/vYsuyhiURV
— The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) July 9, 2020
7.
The Kremlin must be quaking in their boots. https://t.co/uM1TofPLuR
— John Sweeney (@johnsweeneyroar) July 9, 2020
8.
Within days of him taking over, the UK’s counterintelligence capability will be outsourced to a cardboard packaging firm on an industrial estate outside Droitwich. https://t.co/7si4719Ai2
— Davey Six-Toes (@HutchinsonDave) July 9, 2020
9.
Chris Grayling – renowned for a string of ineptitude policy decisions – set to become chair of Intelligence and Security Committee. His first challenge? To decide if to release the long waited report into alleged Russian interference in UK politics. That’s it. That’s the tweet.
— Dr. Jennifer Cassidy (@OxfordDiplomat) July 9, 2020
10.
*This* is where he shines. Finally, decisively. *This* is his Battle of Britain, his Jules Rimet moment, his Boom Bang-a-Bang at Eurovision, his Agincourt. God speed, Chris Grayling, we're all rooting for you – shine on you crazy diamond. https://t.co/N0fjn1xclj
— Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) July 9, 2020
11.
No offence, but the man is thicker than a boxing day turd. https://t.co/hihjV57mhf
— Mark ne-Francois-pas MP (@MarkFrancois12) July 9, 2020
Simon Ryan had a prediction.
The report is going to be a printed copy of the Wikipedia page on Prussia, just you wait.
— Simon (@simon_ryan) July 9, 2020
It still wouldn’t be the stupidest thing he’s done.
In summary …
Chris Grayling is more punchline than politician.
— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) July 9, 2020
READ MORE
This newspaper profile of Chris Grayling is brutal but the correction is the most devastating bit
Source The Independent Image Screengrab Screengrab
