Pandemic puns and lockdown laughs – 11 tweets to keep your spirits up
Days after the pubs reopened, three of them have had to close again after some punters tested positive for coronavirus. Luckily there weren’t loads of people crammed in with them.
Oh!
Enough of that – have some jokes.
1.
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) July 6, 2020
2.
Don’t be embarrassed to wear a face mask, I know people who wear Arsenal and Chelsea jerseys in public !!! pic.twitter.com/Dj4UvKXSO1
— GOD’s PLAN 🦟 (@o_la_wealth) July 6, 2020
3.
"Let's get drinks sometime!" has been upgraded to "Let's get drinks sometime, after quarantine!” and taken on new levels of insincerity.
Sure. Why not. Let’s open a convenience store. Let's buy a boat together and sail to Rio, after quarantine
— Jeff Kasanoff (@JeffKasanoff) July 6, 2020
4.
Me: Don’t touch your face until you’ve put hand sanitiser on.
* Turns around to see kid licking himself like a cat.
— Pinot Evil (@TheWinegasm) July 6, 2020
5.
Not gone mad during lockdown but this evening I’m washing my washing machine.
— Tiahowler Jon Von Biltawülf (@Biltawulf) July 6, 2020
6.
this bailout for the arts by Rishi Sunak may look good on the surface but in the small print it says 4 new series of Mrs Browns Boys
— end of daves ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) July 5, 2020
7.
Very considerate of vapers to season their respiratory droplets before sharing them. I like it! Thank you!
— Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin) July 6, 2020
8.
I saw someone driving with a face mask that didn’t cover their nose
I wonder if his seat belt was around his ankles
— Adam Aston (@adamgreattweet) July 6, 2020
9.
I mean, I can sort of understand the hankering for a proper draught pint after drinking bottles for a few months, but I will never be able to comprehend leaving your home, pandemic or no, for a glass of postmix Pepsi and…whatever the sweet suffering fuck this is. pic.twitter.com/RsWNOKdsOY
— 🏳️🌈 Max 🏳️🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) July 5, 2020
10.
As Government says financial support package is enough to keep theatres going through panto season, industry experts say if only there was a hilarious way to refute the claim.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) July 6, 2020
Finally, Dr Philip Lee had an idea.
Introduce VAR for social distancing
— Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) July 4, 2020
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People have been joking about the pandemic – the 11 funniest
Image The Roses Theatre screengrab
