The 25 funniest things we’ve seen this week
Simply twenty-five of the funniest things we’ve spotted on Twitter over the past week – and not a word about coronavirus.
I don’t think there’s a Punjabi word for ‘purring’ so when our cat purrs, my parents say ‘billi da motor chalda’ (the cat’s motor is revving).
— J.S. (@JasminderSidhu) June 23, 2020
Being married is weird, isn’t it?
My husband would give me a kidney if I needed one, but won’t walk into the kitchen to fetch me some crisps.
— Twinks (@tinytwink) June 19, 2020
My partner did not know tunas were really big and I asked why he thought they were small and he said “they come in such little cans”
— Cat "Herine" Graffam (@catgraffam) June 20, 2020
America has just gotten Lidl- for too long they've had to go to separate stores to buys fresh oranges, gilets, wine, foot baths, picnic baskets, boxes of CHAKOLAT bars, pyjamas, tents, mini hoovers, fresh bread, CRANCH KRIZPIEES, bee-keeping masks & unicycles. I wish them well.
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) June 22, 2020
I told my kid he mustn’t use the word ‘hate’ as it’s hurtful and mean and then I made absolutely sure he apologised to the cheese
— Friney ☕️🌷 (@dimplesticks) June 22, 2020
Why does Venice, Italy look like Patrick needing water pic.twitter.com/Py1WWhnMoI
— Tron Madden (@madden_tron) June 21, 2020
— buddy (@heybuddy_comic) June 22, 2020
I cleaned pee off the floor and glitter off the sink. Not sure if I have kids or raves.
— Kerry on Wayward Son (@EmissaryKerry) June 21, 2020
did you hear what pirates favourite online learning tool is?
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 22, 2020
There was a young man
From Cork who got Limericks
And Haikus confused
— GaryTwisted at Twisted by Design (@GaryTwisted) June 22, 2020
I found out the other day that "penguin" in Mandarin Chinese is literally "business goose" and I haven't been able to think about anything else since. pic.twitter.com/6umgLATciQ
— Stu Nugent (@CrookedNuts) June 25, 2020
Space 19.99. A bargain.
— Ian McMillan (@IMcMillan) June 25, 2020