10 funny takes on wherever it is we are with the pandemic

Oonagh Keating. Updated June 23rd, 2020

The latest updates from the government, as far as we can make out, mean that people can stop shielding in August, theatres and museums can open from early July and the app – which currently doesn’t exist – is now the cherry on the cake rather than crucial.

That could all change by the weekend, so for now we’re going to sit tight and enjoy Twitter’s funny takes on the whole catastrophe.

1. The reduction in social-distancing requirements isn’t everyone’s cup of tea

So good that they're reducing social-distancing from 2m to 1m. I can't tell you the number of times during pandemic I've been in the supermarket and thought if only I could get a little closer to the obese man with with body odour issues talking to himself in Tongues

— Omid Djalili (@omid9) June 22, 2020

2. There’s one law for dogs and another for cows – apparently

Again, I’m struck by the inconsistencies of lockdown pic.twitter.com/wZqP4dL6J8

— Yakub Qureshi (@yqshi) June 20, 2020

3. Social distancing can look strangely familiar

Vicar to Rook 4. https://t.co/TWmrkHniba

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) June 22, 2020

4. There are unexpected benefits to wearing masks

Not wearing masks in public:

– Maybe killing older and at-risk folks
– Massive missed opportunity for style statements
– Extremely gauche

Wearing masks in public:

– Good prep for The Purge
– *So* mysterious
– Helps you get into the mindset of Optimus Prime so you can catch him

— Al Kennedy (@housetoastonish) June 21, 2020

5. Not everybody wants to go back to work

Me: I can't wait until I can go back to the office.
Work: The offices are now reopened.
Me: shit

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 22, 2020

6. …or the gym

ME: Oh cool the gyms are open again

WIFE: 😀😃😄😁😆😅😂🤣😂🤣

ME: 😂

— mo (@chuuew) June 22, 2020

7. Technology is the new nanny state

The updated Apple Watch is going to tell you if you need to wash your hands for longer. There is no way we ever had the imagination to land a man on the moon.

— Tiahowler Jon Von Biltawülf (@Biltawulf) June 22, 2020

8. Some decisions may not be following the science

Boris Johnson expected to announce certain pubs can reopen, after positive meeting with new Chief Scientific Adviser: pic.twitter.com/1vmW6Acmqh

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) June 22, 2020

9. The price of socialising may be more than we’re prepared to pay

would you spit into a cup to get back into spoons??

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 22, 2020

10. The anti-vax argument hasn’t become any stronger

ME: I’m still a little nervous about a deadly virus that’s killed 120,000 Americans in just months

PERSON WHO IS SCARED OF THE MEASLES VACCINE: wow panic over nothing much

— sk8r boi (@SortaBad) June 20, 2020

But, hey! At least we can go on holiday.

Mmmm. Sounds like fun! pic.twitter.com/jYc7YSonJB

— AngryBritain.com (@AngryBritain) June 22, 2020

Image @yqshi