Lockdown laughs: 10 more things we’ve learnt from 9 weeks of quarantine

Living through a pandemic really is a learning experience. Here are 10 things we know or suspect now that the UK has spent nine weeks in lockdown – Barnard Castle notwithstanding.

1. Contact with the outside world has become something precious – especially if the outside world has chocolate

I used to mock Love Islanders when they'd get so excited to leave the villa for a 20minute date sat at an IKEA table with some olives & now I say "Thanks, Bye" to the local shopkeeper like he's the Glastonbury headliner & I've had 24 Red Bulls.

— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) April 25, 2020

2. Pre-lockdown eating + no gym = a little extra padding

before after
lockdown lockdown pic.twitter.com/9WPsWgAGZF

— flappy 🐥 (@funflaps) May 1, 2020

3. We might all come out of this with some cognitive impairment

thinking about all the things i've accomplished during quarantine: forgetting how to read, increasing my screen time by 100 percent, losing my short time memory, finding new uses for pillsbury biscuits, no longer being able to form complicated thoughts,

— Chris Crowley (@chrisecrowley) May 25, 2020

4. Some sacrifices aren’t as tough as we expected

If I've learned anything from this lockdown it's that I can survive 2 months without a £3.99 take away coffee.

— You can call me Q (from a safe distance) (@QuintinForbes) May 26, 2020

5. Irony isn’t dead

Me in 2016: "Follow me and we'll stop these unelected bureaucrats running our country"
Me today: "Leave my unelected bureaucrat alone, you rotten sods"#DominicCummnings

— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) May 26, 2020

6. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be

Remember when we thought 2016 was the worst year ever?
Good times

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) April 27, 2020

7. Nobody’s looking their Instagram best right now

Meanwhile, since the Louvre's been closed… pic.twitter.com/N48HHNdDg2

— Sister Celluloid (@sistercelluloid) April 22, 2020

8. Relationships may be strained

Are there any exceptions to lockdown if your partner keeps Brie n the fridge?

— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) April 29, 2020

9. Necessity isn’t the mother of invention – boredom is

My neighbors are bored as FUCK!!! pic.twitter.com/lh1TR29xMJ

— Sean Don🇵🇦 (@SeanPerignonDon) April 26, 2020

10. Children bring a whole set of specific lockdown problems

At the parenting lockdown stage of thinking it would be better to be eaten by a baby shark than have to listen to it again 🦈 🎵 #coronavirus #lockdown

— Ben Turner Comedian (@benturnercomedy) April 25, 2020

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Lockdown laughs: 10 things we’ve learned from nearly two months of quarantine

Image @jontyson and @karencantuq on Unsplash