People have been sharing Classic Dom excuses to rival the Barnard Castle eye test – our 23 favourites
Despite the best efforts of a string of MPs to convince interviewers that the general public wants to move on from the Dominic Cummings issue, the public – in the shape of Twitter – has other ideas.
On Tuesday evening, the hashtag #ClassicDomExcuses trended for several hours, as people tried to match his “I drove to Barnard Castle to test my eyesight” reasoning.
This is what started the ball rolling.
As its tricky to get hashtags with Cummings in to trend – as Dominic Cummings' mum had the foresight to shag with a man with a semen-based name, to protect her son from Twitter crowd fury, we can instead use #ClassicDomExcuses
Eg Barnard Castle eye test
— Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) May 26, 2020
These were our favourites.
1.
#ClassicDomExcuses I set fire to my bakery on Pudding Lane in 1666 because I knew smoke alarms would be invented 200 years later. I wrote a blog about this at the time.
— Røb Łé Røñé (@robertlerone) May 26, 2020
2.
I had to drive to the castle to use the portal to middle eath, as hancock needed me to retrieve the protective ring for the care homes, it was then imperative I return to London to pick up the delorean to finish the job.
— Christabel Gashion (@Christabelius) May 26, 2020
3.
"Yes, of course I had to shoot Abraham Lincoln, he was in front of me in the theatre and had a whacking great hat on. My wife, my son and I couldn't see anything and we'd driven 250 to see that show."
— BeckSaxon (@becksaxon) May 26, 2020
4.
I'm not on holiday, officer! I came to the Lake District to test my lung capacity in the fresh air!#ClassicDomExcuses
— ABritB 🌹 (@bazaar_brit) May 26, 2020
5.
I just went to the beach to check my suncream was working #ClassicDomExcuses
— Toni with an I (@Hippychick3000) May 26, 2020
6.
I drove to France to check I still liked croissants, then I drove to Italy to check I still liked pasta #ClassicDomExcuses
— Sally-Anne Tarpy (@SallyTarpy73) May 26, 2020
7.
#classicdomExcuses I only smirked smugly at the end of the Rose Garden Press Conference to test my facial muscles.
— Colleen Hawkins (@Lady_Colleen) May 26, 2020
8.
I locked my dog in the house then set it on fire to see if the fire-alarm was working.
I didn't do anything wrong.#ClassicDomExcuses pic.twitter.com/EO9ODqBglp
— docrussjackson JOIN A UNION. (@docrussjackson) May 26, 2020
9.
I just threw the entire government lockdown policy under a bus to check if the brakes were working
— Scott (@scottwilks) May 26, 2020
10.
#ClassicDomExcuses "I turned up half an hour late to my own press conference just to check if everyone's watches were working"
— Jacynth Bassett (@JacynthBassett) May 26, 2020
12.
"I didn't know if I would get my wife pregnant so I shagged her sister and five of her friends to test drive my fertility…" #ClassicDomExcuses
— MIB (@MibIH) May 26, 2020
