Simply 25 of the funniest things we’ve seen on Twitter this week
Wife *holding newborn* isn't this the best day ever
Me *remembering when 2 Twixes fell out the vending machine* it's top two for sure
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) May 19, 2020
Best. Sign. EVER. pic.twitter.com/ApwWLLmE6p
— Nicola Jane Swinney (@NicolaJSwinney) May 19, 2020
It's really good. https://t.co/qR8cKfO9uq
— David Quantick (@quantick) May 19, 2020
Jeez it’s sweltering today. What I wouldn’t give to be Prince Andrew
— Alexandra Haddow (@MissAHaddow) May 20, 2020
I took one of those personality tests, and turns out I’m “hungry”.
I’m genuinely surprised as to how accurate those things are.
— OMG, Becky! 🍒 (@beckybbarr) May 20, 2020
The 5th of November
You’re a Womble
— trouteyes (@trouteyes) May 20, 2020
[buying shoes for our kids]
her: which do you like better
me: idk probably our daughter
— Christopher Ashman (@CAshmanActor) May 20, 2020
Elton John's calendar for next month was leaked. It's pretty cool: pic.twitter.com/I44lwGiQnA
— Michael 🌶 (@Home_Halfway) May 21, 2020
Today from 9 to 10 AM we are having an all-hands family seminar on how to replace an empty toilet paper roll.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 21, 2020
The first golden rays of morning light stream gently through my window, and as they softly brush against my face, I whisper, “fuuuuuck off”
— Eternal Samnation (@portmanteauface) May 21, 2020
My kink is me bent over the table, hands tied behind my back, facedown in a box of Krispy Cremes sharer dozen.. on my own.
— Roisin Conaty (@Roisinconaty) May 21, 2020
Can you imagine the emotional state Keith must have been in to warrant this pic.twitter.com/bDPEcFScz8
— Ash Warner (@AlsBoy) May 21, 2020
The fact that Mario makes a little noise every time he exerts himself physically is proof that he's over 30
— ✨Carlgpy✨ (@whirringblender) May 17, 2020
Tell us what we missed.
Image @MattSeymour on Unsplash