Our 21 favourite reactions to the government’s confusing “Stay Alert” advice
After two months of telling people to “Stay Home”, the government has decided to change its message.
Stay alert: Boris Johnson's new message to the nation, as he unveils Covid-19 warning systemhttps://t.co/J9GKW3wqKY pic.twitter.com/aSAsonDXqa
— Edward Malnick (@edwardmalnick) May 9, 2020
There were one or two – or three – issues with the new slogan.
None of these 3 instructions make any sense. They aren’t saying anything.
‘Stay alert’ – How? Stay alert for what happening, and do what if that thing happens?
‘Control the virus’ – Again, how? Isn’t this meant to be telling me how to control the virus?
‘Save lives’ – HOW? pic.twitter.com/IsK3FVyVHL
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) May 9, 2020
These reactions convey the breadth of feeling quite well.
1.
A bit fucking difficult to stay alert to something that’s 0.0001 millimetres in diameter. This pandemic is going to have as many spikes as a coronavirus. pic.twitter.com/Uyv6k82Y8Y
— Adam Kay (@amateuradam) May 9, 2020
2.
Go out, meet people, have a party, do whatever you want and you'll be fine, as long as you stay alert in case you see a microscopic virus coming towards you. pic.twitter.com/93weJeZniy
— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) May 9, 2020
3.
Is Coronavirus sneaking around in a fake moustache and glasses? If we drop our guard, will it slip us a Micky Finn? What the hell is ‘stay alert’ supposed to mean? pic.twitter.com/8cUmAVBVL7
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 9, 2020
4.
Guys remember to stay alert. I was just out for a walk and saw a piece of virus coming towards me, but because I was being alert I managed to dive out of the way
— Ed Gamble (@EdGambleComedy) May 10, 2020
5.
Cant sleep. Must stay alert. Must control the virus. You're not alert if you're asleep. Thats how the virus wins. Must stay alert. No sleep ever again.
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) May 9, 2020
6.
Stay alert
Have a barbecue
But make it a small one
Don’t invite Geoff he’s got underlying health problems
Take him a plate of sausages or something later
And a beer
That’s okay probably
Save lives— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) May 9, 2020
7.
SHUT THAT DOOR ✖️
THEY DON’T LIKE IT UP ‘EM ✖️
YOU GET NOTHING FOR A PAIR (NOT IN THIS GAME)✖️
STAY ALERT✔️ pic.twitter.com/SnnAjoAeg7— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) May 9, 2020
8.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, staying alert, staying alert pic.twitter.com/fk7TIrfpOY
— Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) May 10, 2020
9.
Stay alert. Stand by your window. If you see the virus, call your MP immediately. #stayalert
— Danny Wallace 🇪🇺 (@dannywallace) May 9, 2020
10.
Stay alert? Are we supposed to sense it creeping up on us and karate chop the fucking virus now? pic.twitter.com/JQt8qKbO4o
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 9, 2020
11.
yeah ok I'll stay alert & control the virus with this nationwide test, track, trace & isolate system I've got handy because I didn't waste precious months cocking about & giving contracts to my useless mates who can't do the job
— REMAIN INDOORS (@Scriblit) May 9, 2020
12.
Phew! Covid 19 just pulled up next to me in an old Saab and asked if I wanted to go to it's house and see it's puppies but thanks to govt advice I remembered to #StayAlert and scarpered!
— Guy Pratt 🇪🇺STAYING@HOME (@guypratt) May 10, 2020
