Priti Patel had some good news about shoplifting – 7 scathing takedowns
Despite her disastrous attempt to read out the testing figures, Priti Patel is still allowed to hold the daily coronavirus briefings at 10 Downing Street, and she’s not getting any better at it.
On the day that the UK’s Covid-19 casualties went above 20,000, she informed the country that certain crime figures were down.
Absolutely outstanding. A government that won’t accept that lowering police numbers affects crime levels but will brag about shoplifting being lower during a time where there aren’t actually any shops to lift. pic.twitter.com/GCMxD5e196
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 25, 2020
Her completely unsurprising announcement wasn’t taken the way she must have hoped.
1.
Hi @patel4witham, would you like me to explain why shoplifting is down? #PritiVacant pic.twitter.com/4UCa770GJk
— Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) April 25, 2020
2.
Re. Priti Patel bragging about the drop in shoplifting; I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say there’s probably also been a bit of a dip in car crashes, accidental drownings and people tripping over uneven paving stones.
Call it a hunch.
— Mitch Benn🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@MitchBenn) April 25, 2020
3.
#PritiPatel says shoplifting is down compared to last year.
Tomorrow we announce a dramatic reduction in football hooliganism and bar fights. #Covid_19— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) April 25, 2020
4.
Possibly the highest Covid Fatalities in Europe, woeful preparations but look at the bright side, shoplifting is down. The shops are shut.
Had to listen to it twice to be sure what I heard. A mollusc in a toupee could've done better #PritiPatel— Sanjeev Bhaskar (@TVSanjeev) April 25, 2020
5.
as well as shoplifting being down #PritiPatel has also confirmed that UK deaths from volcanic eruptions are at an all time low
— end of daves ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) April 25, 2020
6.
Did #PritiPatel just tell us that shoplifting was down compared to the same period last year? No shit, Sherlock #PritiVacant
— @mskatestafford (@mskatestafford) April 25, 2020
7
This is unfair, and overlooks the vital contribution this visionary Home Secretary has made to not only reducing shoplifting, but virtually eliminating fights in pubs over the same period. https://t.co/KEgpvCYBIP
— The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) April 25, 2020
The Iain Duncan Smiths gave us the actual figure – in Priti Patel’s world, that is.
SHOPLIFTING DOWN TWELVETY THOUSAND HUNDRED AND FIFTEENY-EIGHT THOUSAND MILLION PER CENTS #PritiPatel pic.twitter.com/BZmu7SOoQM
— TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) April 25, 2020
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