14 times ‘That Bloke Jesus’ on Twitter nailed life under lockdown

9.

Quick question

How do you self isolate when you are 3 people in 1?

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) March 21, 2020

10.

All travel from Earth to Heaven will be postponed until further notice

Please make alternative plans

Thankyou

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) March 12, 2020

11.

Supper cancelled. FFS pic.twitter.com/pgNzttYfhg

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) March 13, 2020

12.

Please stop praying to me

It’s pretty clear I don’t give a fuck

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) March 13, 2020

13.

Where is everyone?

Bollocks to this, i’ll come back for my birthday instead

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) April 12, 2020

14.

Working from home pic.twitter.com/TpigGDr783

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) April 9, 2020

Then there are the evergreens like these …

Judas is buying everyone shots.

Seems to have a bit more cash than normal…..
Good for him

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) March 29, 2018

Remember when I wasted years of my life as a carpenter making tables and shit before I realized I could do magic

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) August 8, 2017

Arrived at the restaurant

Decided to all sit on the same side of the table

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) March 29, 2018

Any boulder removal companies working today?

I am in a pickle

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) April 21, 2019

SURPRISE!!!!

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) April 20, 2014

And just in case anyone was wondering or in any doubt …

Larry has totally got me here https://t.co/41yTFklQQU

— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) March 13, 2020

Lots more of that kind of thing here.

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Source @ThatBloke_Jesus