12 suitably scathing takedowns of the 5G coronavirus conspiracy theory
From fairly early in the coronavirus crisis, people have been sharing maps suggesting that Covid-19 hotspots coincide with 5G masts, or in other words, heavily populated areas.
The theory that the two are linked has gained such traction that people have been destroying 5G masts, including in the UK where two have been subject to arson.
James O’Brien, LBC host and best-selling author, reacted to the news.
If you're media, your shock at the popularity of the 5G hoax is probably determined by how many non-media mates you have. It's *incredibly* widespread & pops up all over the place. It reminds me very strongly of plausible-looking online lies about immigration, muslims & the EU.
— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) April 4, 2020
These other comments about the phenomenon were suitably scathing.
1.
Only conspiracy theory I’m prepared to believe is that 5G microwaves may be causing peoples’ brains to stop fucking working. https://t.co/hquosvMidu
— Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker) April 4, 2020
2.
5G warriors. Proof that we haven't yet managed to flatten the dickhead curve.
— Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) April 4, 2020
3.
The only correct response to anyone telling you 5G conspiracies is to respond with the original 5Gs:
Good God Get a Grip Girl
— Nicola Coughlan (@nicolacoughlan) April 5, 2020
4.
The amount of people that believe 5g is causing coronavirus is fucking wild. These same people probably believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows
— Charlie (@MoistCr1TiKaL) April 3, 2020
5.
If you think 5G is a problem, you are the sort of person who would happily burn a virgin police officer in a giant man-shaped basket.
— Louis Barfe (@AlanKelloggs) April 3, 2020
6.
i know nothing about medicine, you know nothing about medicine, but I think we can all agree phone masts don't cause viruses and in the same way handstands don't cause bread
— SheRa Marley, but far away (@SheRa_Marley) April 4, 2020
7.
One of my Facebook friends shared a petition to stop 5G rollout in our area because "it literally cooks people". Govt should announce they finished rolling out 5G everywhere, then maybe people would finally stay inside.
— MalwareTech (@MalwareTechBlog) April 3, 2020
8.
Did you know that the new edition of the dictionary now spells ‘gggggullible’ so it begins with 5Gs?
— David QC (@DavidMuttering) April 4, 2020
9.
hearing that the 5G signal is responsible for ordering adult films on your virgin set top box without your knowledge so look out for that
— joe (@mutablejoe) April 3, 2020
10.
On Tuesday at 7pm we will be clapping for 5G. Please share and RT!
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) April 5, 2020
11.
You’ve been eating crap since lockdown, you barely drink 500ml of water a day, you stay on your phone for 12 hours minimum and you don’t get fresh air. But yh it’s 5g giving you headaches
— Nathan (@Nath_S__) April 4, 2020
12.
I'm not saying it's related or anything but the other day they turned on a local #5G tower. I got so angry I drank 8 cans of Stella and 5 shots of Tequila, plus several Jagerbombs.
The next day I had the worst headache and vomited all morning.
Make up your own minds people.
— Dr Philip *👏WASH🧼YOUR🧴HANDS👏* Lee (@drphiliplee1) April 4, 2020
Finally, Karl Sharro has found out how to combat the effects of 5G contamination.
A whistleblower has revealed that the only way to protect yourself from 5G radiation is to cover yourself entirely in mayonnaise. Make sure you cover every inch and then take a picture and share it so we can check for you. Please retweet to raise awareness.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) April 3, 2020
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This coronavirus conspiracy theory is like a tinfoil hatter’s greatest hits
Image Metro News, @mbaumi on Unsplash
